Then There Were Two
by Nytel
Summary: The need to find some kind of comfort during a dire war is strong. It is important to build strong bonds with family and friends, but even that my backfire. JT NOTE: Spoilers up to Phantoms.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** Sex, Character Death  
**Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement is intended.  
**A/N:** This is set some time in the future.

**Chapter 1**

Teyla absentmindedly observed that it was a rare peaceful night in Atlantis. She was in John's quarters, curled up on the bed with him. She tucked her head more securely underneath his chin, content to just lie there with him. His fingers stroked her loose hair in a soothing motion. Occasionally he would pause, twisting a strand between his fingers and letting it slide through his hand before continuing. It was peaceful, something she had come to cherish more and more with each passing day.

Their fight against the wraith had taken a turn for the worse. Teyla had been expecting as much; it was a war that they were fighting after all, but she had never been prepared for things to get quite this bad. It seemed like every day they lost more people. She knew that it scared John, just like it did her. That had its own repercussions.

Teyla was fairly certain that it was the reason behind John's reluctance to put a name on this, the drastic change in their relationship from friends to so much more. Her best guess was that he was aiming to protect himself from the pain he would experience if she died – but Teyla knew that the pain would be inevitable, regardless of whether or not their relationship had been categorized.

Whatever it was, the growing thing between them, it had started months ago… five to be precise. They had been sparring, much like any other day. John had taken to releasing his aggression over the wraith through their workouts together. She had never, even for the briefest of moments, been afraid that he would hurt her - it had just turned him into a worthy opponent.

_John's moves were becoming faster and more precise as their workout progressed. Teyla wasn't necessarily having a hard time keeping up with the complexity, but it was definitely keeping her on her toes, and more importantly placing them on equal footing. For once she wasn't sure that she would win the round._

_Suddenly John lunged low, aiming for her legs. She was able to jump just in time to hop over the rod as it swung beneath her. If her move had been even a second later, she would have been sporting a nasty bruise on her shin the next day._

_Teyla ducked, crouching low to the ground, and executed one of the most complex Athosian moves, one that she had not yet taught John. Somehow he managed to block both of her rods, diverting them away from the flesh of his body with plenty of time to spare. He gave her a cocky smirk between panting breaths, obviously pleased with himself. As much as she disliked losing, she had to admit that he was doing extremely well._

_The next few minutes flew by quickly: an exchange of sharp, forceful blows, each blocked just in the nick of time. They were both beginning to tire and it wouldn't be long before one of them made a mistake._

_John swept in with an overhead arc, failing to protect his right side, and leaving him vulnerable. Teyla struck quickly, hoping to use his mistake to her benefit, but before she could, she found her legs flying out from under her._

_She hit the ground with a thud, suddenly thankful that they hadn't removed the mats before sparring. John had feinted. It hadn't been a mistake at all, but a trick, a trick that had allowed him to win._

_He was kneeling on the mat beside her, crouched over her body with both his rods held loosely at her throat. He was smirking again. "Looks like I won," he whispered smugly._

_As Teyla nodded her head in acquiescence, she realized that she was holding her breath at his close proximity. The lack of oxygen was too great and she breathed out once before inhaling deeply, the clean air rushing into her lungs._

_Teyla realized that her chest was now pressed against John's. She felt an odd, but very pleasant sensation spread throughout her entire body at the same time that John's eyes flashed with desire. If she hadn't been looking at him so closely she wouldn't have seen it._

_But she had._

_It was what she had been waiting for since… well, a very long time ago. She had promised herself that if John reciprocated even an inkling of her feelings toward him then she would act. Life was too short for anything else. Teyla wasn't the kind of woman who would back down on a promise, even if it was one she made with herself._

_Before she could over think this, or before he moved away, Teyla reached up with one hand and firmly clasped the back of John's neck. She barely registered the shocked look in his eyes before she pulled his head down to hers, initiating their second kiss. She couldn't help but note that it was much better than their first._

_If she had been thinking about it, she would have expected him to pull away, or at least resist initially, but he didn't. Instead, Teyla almost immediately felt his tongue parting her lips before delving deep into her mouth. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Teyla was aware of both sets of bantos rods dropping to the floor, but she didn't dwell on it. She was too mesmerized by the feeling of John's tongue pressing urgently against hers as his hands began to wander up and down her sides. His movements weren't hesitant, but neither were they harsh._

_She wasn't passive either, and soon she found her hands caressing John's back, feeling the strong muscles beneath his shirt. He deepened the kiss even further, though she didn't realize it was possible. She responded immediately by increasing the sheer intensity of her own actions._

_Teyla didn't know how long they remained there, locked in a passionate embrace, but eventually they broke apart for air; they were only human after all._

_John's eyes were closed and his breathing was ragged, as was hers, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking, whether or not he might be regretting their spontaneity._

"_John?" she whispered, desperately needing to know what he was thoughts were running through his mind._

_His eyes flickered open. After all the years that they had known each other, she could read him well; he definitely wasn't regretting it. "Come on," he said just as quietly, rising before pulling her to her feet._

_Their hands remained intertwined as she followed him out of the training room and through the corridors of Atlantis. Teyla was thankful that it was late at night and that no one was around to see them. When they reached the turn off to the main hallway and walked past it, Teyla realized where they were going: John's quarters._

_It didn't surprise her, not really, but she couldn't keep her heart from beating faster the closer they got. She wasn't inexperienced by any means, but it had been a long time, a very long time. She couldn't help but feel nervous._

_Neither of them had spoken a word since they left the gym, and Teyla found it odd. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. It was as if she was afraid that speaking would break the trance they both seemed to be under, and that John might then change his mind._

_When they made it to John's room, he swiped his hand over the sensor, and then pulled her into the room behind him. Forgoing the lights and all else in the room, he turned to her and cupped her face, bringing his lips down to kiss her hungrily._

_Forgetting about anything else but the man in front of her, Teyla responded vigorously, trying to convey everything that she was feeling with her lips alone. When that wasn't enough she began to touch and caress every place she could. He was doing the same._

_The overwhelming sensations were blurring her mind and it seemed like no time passed at all until he was pushing clothing off her body – and she from his._

_As soon as Teyla's top fell to the floor, John's lips made their way to her bare shoulder, kissing and sucking, pleasant sensations coursing throughout her entire body. She found herself doing the same to his throat and jaw. He let out a low and guttural moan that only served to fuel her actions._

_It wasn't much longer until John made his way down her body to take one hardened nipple in his mouth. This time it was Teyla who moaned. She had dreamt about what this might be like, but never had she imagined it would be so incredible._

_His tongue teased first one nipple, then the other before he made his way back up to ravish her mouth. During this, Teyla had somehow managed to remain coherent enough to slide off John's pants as well as her skirt, leaving them both clad in only their underwear._

_She began to push him backwards, towards the bed. Or maybe it was him who was pulling her back. She could no longer tell for certain. This ended as the back of John's knees hit the bed._

_Their momentum caused him to topple over, bringing Teyla down with him. She tried to brace her hands to break her fall, but they had been busy doing other things and she found her chest pressed firmly against John's yet again. He let out a quiet huff of air as her weight came down on top of him. It didn't seem to matter because suddenly he was kissing her again, having lost none of his previous intensity._

_Teyla's nervousness had almost completely dissolved into anticipation. She had been waiting for this for too long._

_John turned his head to the side, moving in to suck on her pulse point with a gentle pressure. Teyla's fingers clutched at his shoulders tightly; she was on the edge of losing control. She knew that John must be close as well._

_Apparently quite the multitasker, he slipped his hand past the thin fabric of her underwear to slide his hands over her butt, while his lips continued to work their magic on her neck. She then realized that her hips were grinding against his, eliciting another moan from him._

_Then his hands were on the waistband of her underwear, tugging them down. She lifted her hips and managed to slip the garment off while reaching down to rid John of his boxers. Somehow their positions switched in the process and Teyla found herself pinned between John and the mattress. An unexpected flutter arose in her stomach as the anticipation threatened to overwhelm her._

_They both paused for a moment, their eyes locking together. He silently asked her if she was sure. She nodded her head once, moving it only slightly. That was all the encouragement that John needed._

_The next thing she knew he was sliding into her, filling her completely. Her breath caught in her throat as new feelings bubbled up inside of her. He started to move, slowly at first as if he was hesitant. When she began to follow his rhythm, his actions became smoother and more sure._

_It seemed like no time at all until Teyla was arching her back off the bed, meeting his increasingly strong thrusts with more urgency. When he moved his head to kiss her neck again, she was gone, her climax washing over her, eyes rolling back into her head with pleasure. Two or three more thrusts and John followed, finding his release deep inside of her. With a shudder, he collapsed on top of her, shifting most of his weight so that he didn't crush her._

_As Teyla's breathing returned to normal, and the thin sheen of sweat on her skin began to dry, her mind began to race. She didn't regret what had just happened, but it would have numerous, far-reaching consequences. It wasn't as if they had discussed this or anything._

_John rolled off of her and the feeling of the cool air on her sweat-dampened skin made her shiver. She looked around the room for her clothes, her eyes finally drifting to the doorway where her top and skirt lay scattered. Silently, she moved to stand up, intending to get dressed and leave if necessary. A gentle hand on her wrist stopped her._

"_Stay," John said, his tone somewhere between a question and a request. It was the first word spoken between them since leaving the gym. She turned to look at him, gazing deeply into his eyes. With one word he had told her everything that she needed to know._

She glanced up at him now. His eyes were closed and his breathing was deep and calm, but she knew that he wasn't asleep. If not because of his still moving hand, then because of the lack of his light snore. It wasn't a sound that she would have ever expected to find soothing, but in time that was exactly what it had become.

She settled in more firmly against his side, tracing the planes of his bare stomach while letting her mind wander.

On the surface their relationship had changed very little. They had told no one, and she was fairly certain that nobody suspected anything either, with maybe the exception of Carson. She had caught him giving them odd looks when they stood beside each other, having drifted a little closer than was necessary. The looks, however, were far more inquisitive than accusatory.

But Carson had no way of knowing for sure. It was part of her and John's unspoken agreement: the change in their relationship was to remain a secret. Teyla tried not to be upset by that; it made sense after all, especially given their situation. They were fighting a war, and she was directly under John's chain of command. Although it wasn't technically against regulations because she wasn't in the military, she didn't think that Elizabeth would hesitate to order them to end this if she felt it necessary.

They stole what time together they could when they weren't off world or involved with some other task. It wasn't as much as either of them would have liked, but they would take what they could get. They always made the most out of the situation they found themselves in, like they were doing now.

"John," she said quietly, angling her head so that she could see his face.

"Yeah?" he replied groggily, not yet opening his eyes.

"How long?" Her voice was extremely quiet, but she knew that he could hear her. His muscles tensed slightly as her words registered.

Opening his eyes, he reached across her to the bedside table. He picked up his watch and glanced at it briefly. "Six hours," he responded softly, his voice laced with something akin to sadness.

Six hours until he left with for Earth on the Daedalus – not quite what she wanted to know. "No," she said, trying to clarify. "How long will you be gone?"

His arm tightened around her shoulders. "Umm," he began, keeping his voice quiet. "Three weeks until we get there, probably two more weeks once we're there, and then three weeks travel time coming back."

"Two months," Teyla said quietly after quickly doing the addition in her head. "That's a long time."

John kissed the top of her head. "I'm coming back," he murmured against her hair. She couldn't help but wonder if he had somehow read her mind.

She sighed and tightened her arms around his torso. "I know that, but…" But what? She didn't know exactly, she just hated the idea of being separated for so long.

"I'm coming back," John repeated.

Teyla nodded her head against his chest. She knew that, but somehow couldn't shake the irrational feeling growing in her chest.

John unwrapped his arm from around her shoulder and began to remove his dog tags. Teyla watched, stunned, as he slipped one of his tags off and placed it in her hand.

Her fingers instinctively closed around it, reveling in its secure weight and warmth.

"I'm coming back," he said a third time before leaning over and kissing her firmly on the lips.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The first week or so wasn't that bad. It's not like they hadn't been apart before–different sets of duties had kept them separated for nearly the same length of time on several occasions. It wasn't something they enjoyed, but they'd dealt with it. There had been no other choice—just as they had no choice now. But when it reached the tenth day of John's absence, things seemed to change.

Teyla was lying in her quarters, trying to sleep, when reality sunk in: John was gone, and it would be a very long time before he came back. She couldn't figure out why the comprehension hit her so hard and so suddenly—it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

It was obvious that she cared for John, that she loved him—she had known that for a long time—but she never prepared for the loss she'd feel. She had never before missed anyone like that. She could feel her heart clenching in her chest out of sheer loneliness.

Teyla couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same.

The thing between them certainly wasn't one-sided, but for all the caring and loving gestures, John had never truly told her how he felt. She had always assumed that it was similar to how she felt, but it was not as if she had told him of her feelings either. Their time together was stolen from the hectic lives they lead, almost too precious to waste on words. Now she was beginning to regret not attempting to speak to him about this… thing, whatever it was.

Teyla pushed herself up off of the bed and, in one fluid movement, swung her legs over the side and stood up. It was late and she was tired, but knew that, despite that, she would not be able to sleep. It would be impossible with the growing ache in her heart and the thoughts that had crept into her mind.

She decided to go work out, to try and take her mind off of what was slowly breaking her resolve.

When she reached the training room, she was pleased to find it empty. She could only hope that a good hard workout would tire her out enough to take her mind off of John, and then she might be able to sleep.

Two hours later, when she was back in her bed and still unable to fall asleep, she realized that she should have known better. Exercising was something that they did together, and all of the drills that she had executed in the gym had only served to fix her mind more firmly on John.

Normally she had no qualms about thinking of him; in fact she usually enjoyed it, but this was different. He wasn't there, she couldn't slip out of her room and walk to his, simply to crawl into bed with him. Thinking of him now wasn't a good thing. Thinking of him now only served to remind her that he wasn't there—that he was gone.

**OoOoOoOoO**

"Teyla!"

Her head jerked suddenly as she focused on what was going on in front of her. Elizabeth was staring at her from across the table, a mixture of worry and annoyance on her face. Apparently, she had been the one to call for her attention. Teyla couldn't believe that she had nodded off during a briefing _again_. It had been happening occasionally for just over seven weeks now, ever since John had left.

"I am sorry, Dr. Weir," she said, keeping her voice low as she fixed her gaze upon the table.

"It's alright," Elizabeth said, resuming her normal authoritative voice. "The next thing that we need to discuss is the information that we've recently found in the database."

Teyla raised her head, wondering what information Dr. Weir was referring to.

"As you all know the database itself is huge, but we've managed to create a search engine…" Teyla caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye of Rodney puffing out his chest in pride, obviously having been the one to create this… search engine. "By creating it, we've managed to access the pieces of information that are most crucial to us right now, without having to filter through everything else."

Teyla found herself nodding her head; it was an ingenious idea.

"Now there are still kinks in the process," Elizabeth said as she looked around the room, briefly resting her gaze on each person there. "But one of our initial finds was an ancient log from the very beginning of their war against the Wraith. Whoever constructed this log unfortunately didn't mention anything about ZPMs, but there are mentions of drones."

"Where are they?" Ronon asked, his deep voice echoing throughout the room.

"Well," Elizabeth said while raising one eyebrow slightly. "We don't exactly know."

"Ok, then why are we here?" Rodney asked impatiently, everyone turning to glare at him. "I'm sorry, it's great that they referenced them, but what are we going to do if we don't know where they are!"

Despite the fact that Teyla often found Rodney's snarky attitude annoying and unnecessary, she had to admit that he had a point.

"I was getting to that Rodney," Elizabeth said, fixing him with a stern look. He had, at the very least, the good grace to look a bit embarrassed. "We may not know exactly where the drones are, but we know where we can find out."

Elizabeth took a deep breath before plunging in to her explanation. "The reference to the drones in the database wasn't particularly long, or very specific. I'm just thankful that Dr. Zelenka noticed it before he moved on to search through other sections of information.

"There's a gate address for a planet and a rather complicated explanation about how it is connected to the drones. To make a long story short, the planet was, or rather still is, an ancient outpost. This outpost is where the ancients first created the drones, and then later manufactured as many as they needed."

"Are you kidding me!" Rodney said, interrupting as he leaned forward, obviously excited. "Do you know how valuable that is?"

"Yes, Rodney, I do," Elizabeth said, exasperated at his constant interruptions. "Now we're guessing that there might be a complete catalogue of all the drones at the outpost. And even if there isn't… well, as Dr. McKay pointed out, the simple existence of the outpost is reason enough to go."

"When do we leave?" Teyla asked. A small, irrational part of her was hoping that it would be after John got back, but that was nearly a week away.

"Well," Elizabeth said. "I was hoping that you could leave tomorrow. I was going to send you today, but some of the defensive systems have been acting up and we need Dr. McKay to take a look at them immediately following this meeting.

"In addition, I have assigned Major Lorne as the fourth member of your team for this one," Dr. Weir continued.

Teyla glanced over to her right. She had been wondering why Major Lorne was sitting in on their briefing. He had been assigned to go on missions with them before and, although he wasn't John, he did his job fine. However, Dr. McKay did not seem too happy about the announcement. He and Major Lorne still had their… differences.

Elizabeth continued on for the next twenty minutes or so, going over the details of what their mission would be. None of it would be too hard, assuming that they could find what they were looking for.

Immediately after Elizabeth concluded the briefing, everyone began to file out of the room except for Teyla, who was stopped by Dr. Weir's request. "Teyla, could I have a minute?" she asked, quietly.

Teyla nodded her head and sat back down at the briefing table.

"Is there something going on Teyla?" she asked as soon as the last person had left the room. Her voice wasn't angry, but neither was there warmth in it.

Immediately Teyla's thoughts jumped to John. She couldn't help but fear that Dr. Weir had found out. Her heart began to beat faster. Elizabeth would ask her to end things. But then she mentally chided herself, there was no way that she knew.

"Teyla?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping that Dr. Weir did not notice. "There is nothing going on," she said quietly.

"Alright…" Elizabeth assented, although Teyla could sense the doubt, the skepticism. "I know that times are hard, Teyla, that things are stressful." Teyla nodded slowly.

"But we must stay focused." There was something ultimate and final about Dr. Weir's last sentiment—something distinct.

Teyla nodded her head again. "I am aware, Dr. Weir," she responded, feeling the need to say something. "I believe it's because I have not been sleeping well lately."

It was the truth—the reason why she was having trouble focusing on some of her daily duties. Since the realization six weeks ago that John was gone, she had hardly slept at all, catching only enough rest to keep her functioning. It wasn't healthy, and she knew that, but the only times that she could fall asleep were when she was dead-tired. She needed to work herself into a state of near exhaustion before she would even contemplate going to bed.

"You should go down and see Carson," Elizabeth suggested, as she leaned her elbows against the table. "He might be able to give you something."

Teyla found herself nodding once again. As much as she did not want to admit it, sleeping pills might help.

"Thank you Dr. Weir," Teyla said, pushing her chair back and standing up. "I will go and see him right now."

**OoOoOoOoO**

Nearly twelve hours later, after a day filled with work and a visit to the infirmary, Teyla found herself at the door to one of the city's balconies. She pulled her jacket a little tighter around her body before stepping out into the cool fresh air. She was in need of both some serious thinking and an escape.

They had nearly lost Major Lorne this time.

Following their briefing that morning, he had been scheduled to go on a mission with another team. He had gone, but he had almost not returned. Teyla wasn't sure of the specifics, but the team had run in to some natives on the planet they had been visiting. The natives had not been friendly.

While most of the team had escaped with only a few scraps, bruises and the occasional graze from an arrow that nearly made it's target, Major Lorne had not been so lucky. From what Teyla could gather, he had used himself as a distraction. While running through the woods, he had not only been shot at, receiving two arrows in his lower back, but he had also tripped and broken his leg. Needless to say, he would no longer be accompanying them on their mission the next day.

They had done three-man missions before, but with the way things were shaping up out there in the rest of the galaxy, Teyla couldn't help but feel concerned. She would feel much better if John had been with her, but knew it was an impossibility.

Leaning against the edge of the balcony, Teyla lifted her eyes to look up at the stars. They seemed to shine so much brighter on Atlantis than anywhere else she had ever visited. They were like perfect crystals imbedded in an ebony cloth. It was really a marvelous thing to see.

She leaned against the railing, but did not look down. John was out there somewhere, but she had no idea where. She wondered if he was thinking about her too; she knew that he did often, or at least that was what he had told her three or four months ago.

_It was dusk, and Teyla was in a jumper, flying back to Atlantis with Carson. He had been kind enough to take her to the mainland—Dr. Weir had needed someone to go and speak with the Athosians. Naturally Teyla had felt it her duty to tell the news to her people and volunteered. The bad news might be easier to hear from one of their own._

_None of the Athosians, least of all Halling, had been pleased to hear that the wraith were rallying their rather large numbers for what they could only assume was a full out attack. The deep space scanners had not been able to tell them more, but it was obvious that things were going to get worse and quickly. The wraith may not know exactly where they were, but Dr. McKay's theory was that they were planning to visit every planet they had to until they found the Atlantis expedition. The wraith would not kill everyone for obvious reasons, but they would do unfathomable damage. _

_It had been grave news to bear._

_The only thing that Teyla was grateful for was that she was no longer required to sit in on the meeting of the council. They had invited her, but she had declined, saying that she had things that required attention in the city. In a way, it was true, there were always things that needed to be done, but she had mostly just wanted to try and escape from the bleakness of their situation for a little while._

_As Carson piloted the jumper past the perimeter of the city, Teyla noticed a solitary figure standing on one of the balconies. And she knew exactly who it was._

_After they landed in the jumper bay, Teyla thanked Carson for taking her._

"_Oh, it's not a problem, love," he said earnestly. "Anytime."_

"_Thank you, Dr. Beckett," she said kindly as she followed him out of the jumper._

_When they reached the hallway directly outside the jumper bay, they parted ways, Carson turning left to head to the infirmary and Teyla turning right. She made her way through the corridors, passing a few stray people as she headed in to one of the less occupied areas of the city. It wasn't long before she reached one of the transport rooms, and with a single touch of her finger on the screen she was in the far west section of Atlantis._

_She exited the transport room and turned right, heading for the large balcony. She swiped her left hand over the sensor, and the door opened, the smell of the ocean carried in on a cool breeze._

_John turned around immediately upon hearing the door open. "Hi," he said, obviously a bit surprised to see her._

"_Hello," she responded as she slid up next to him, leaning against the railing and mimicking his position._

"_I thought you were on the mainland," he said quietly, tilting his head to look down at her._

"_I was," Teyla said. An involuntary sigh escaped from her lips._

"_You ok?" John asked, turning his body to face her._

"_Yes," she replied, her voice quiet._

_He must not have believed her, because the next thing Teyla knew, he was gently pulling her into a hug. His arms wrapped securely around her shoulders, and he held her pressed tightly against him._

_Teyla knew that someone might see them and begin to ask questions, but for once she didn't care—instead wrapping her arms around John's torso. She let out another sigh, this time out of contentment._

_It wasn't long before they pulled apart, but it had been enough for her to make things seem a bit less desolate. They both went back to leaning on the railing, looking out over the ocean, their shoulders touching._

"_How did you know I was here?" John quietly intoned, although he didn't turn to look at her._

_His voice wasn't loud enough to startle her, but it jolted her back to the present. "I saw you," she said simply. "When we were flying into the city."_

_She saw him nod his head, as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. When he didn't say anything, she added, "Did you want to be alone?" She hadn't even considered the fact that he might; she had just barged up there to see him._

_Teyla made to push herself away from the railing, but John's words stopped her._

"_No," he said, turning to look at her. "I was just thinking."_

_As he said the last part she caught a glimpse of a mischievous look in his eye. "What were you thinking about?" she questioned._

_He chuckled quietly as he turned around so that his back was leaning against the railing. "It's funny you should ask that."_

"_It is?"_

_He nodded. "I was thinking about you."_

_He said it so candidly that Teyla felt her cheeks get warm. John merely gave her one of his cute and utterly irresistible smiles._

"_Do you think about me often?" she asked, meaning for it to sound like she was teasing, but in reality it came out more heartfelt than that._

_John nodded. "Yeah," he said, and this time it was him who blushed. "A lot actually." It was rare for him to be this open, and Teyla cherished it, burning the words and scene into her memory._

"_What about you?" he asked lightly. "Do you think about me?"_

_He might sound like he was joking, but she knew he really wanted to know. That was how John worked._

_Teyla shrugged her shoulders flirtatiously. "Perhaps…" she said, a large smile growing on her face._

_John grinned back and she knew that he understood. That she did think about him, probably just as much as he thought about her._

_Then, taking her by surprise, John leaned down and kissed her fully on the lips. Her body began to respond instinctively, leaning into the contact, but she stopped when her mind caught up with her actions._

"_John," she whispered harshly. "We can't… not here." She looked around, but didn't see anyone through the glass windows, nor did she see any people on the other balconies._

"_Well then," John said. "Let's go." He glanced at the door that lead back inside._

_She couldn't help but laugh as he winked at her suggestively. Things really did seem brighter when he was around._

"_Fine," she said, smiling brightly. "After you," she added, gesturing that he should precede her to the door._

_He shook his head slightly. "Ladies first."_

_Teyla's smile grew even larger as she walked past him and he fell into step behind her. She was very lucky to have someone like John Sheppard in her life._

Teyla stood and gazed up at the stars for a few more minutes. She did have a mission to go on tomorrow and she needed her rest.

When she made it back to her room, Teyla popped open the small container of sleeping medication that Dr. Beckett had given her. She settled in to bed and lay there, waiting for the pill to take effect. She could only hope that it would make her drowsy enough to drop off into sleep.

Just as she was beginning to feel the effects of the medication, she thought she heard the soft sound of John snoring, something she missed dearly, and began to doze off. Then sleep took her completely, allowing her to get the rest she desperately needed.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Teyla walked into the gate room only minutes before her team was scheduled to leave. The sleeping pills that Dr. Beckett had given her had been effective, although perhaps too effective—she had almost slept late.

Ronon and Rodney were waiting at the bottom of the staircase along with Dr. Weir. As Teyla got closer, Elizabeth said, "Teyla. Good, you're here."

Teyla nodded her head as she adjusted the position of her gun on her vest.

"We sent a MALP through a few minutes ago," Dr. Weir added. "It seems that the gate isn't in the outpost. Fortunately, we were able to pick up on some energy readings to the south. I'd say it's fairly safe to assume that that's where the outpost is situated."

"Will we be taking a jumper?" Teyla asked.

"No," Elizabeth replied as she looked over at Teyla. "I'm afraid not. The tree cover is very dense, and we can't guarantee that there would even be a clearing for you to land in."

Teyla glanced over at Rodney when she heard something that sounded a lot like a complaint coming from his direction.

"What?" he asked her irritably.

Teyla merely shrugged her shoulders, letting it slide. This was not the time to pick a fight.

When Elizabeth resumed talking, Teyla forced herself to focus her attention on her again.

"Teyla, you'll be leading this mission."

She could only nod in response. It wasn't a surprise to her. She had always been John's unofficial second in command—she was a logical choice. It wasn't that Rodney and Ronon couldn't be trusted, but there were reasons. Ronon often got too headstrong and tended to not think his plans through. McKay, on the other hand, didn't quite have a military mind.

"Do we have any idea how far the outpost is from the gate?" Teyla asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, but we're hoping it isn't too far. And seeing as we don't know, I can't give you a time to check in by. However, try your best to report back after eight hours, even if you have to send someone back to the gate."

"Of course, Dr. Weir."

"Well, I think that's it," Elizabeth said, concluding their unofficial pre-mission briefing. "Good luck." With that she turned and walked up the stairs to the control room. "Dial the gate," she ordered the technician.

**OoOoOoOoO**

Teyla stepped through the gate, Rodney and Ronon close on her heels. She exited with her gun raised and quickly scanned the immediate area for any signs of danger. When she saw nothing but trees, she lowered her gun and let it hang from the strap of her vest.

Pausing for a moment, Teyla took in the rest of her surroundings and was not pleased by what she saw. It was dark, cool and damp—but if she had to pick one word to describe it, it would be grim. There was nothing about this place that seemed the least bit welcoming. What little sky she could see directly above the gate was cloudy, the trees appeared unhealthy, and every noise seemed to be muffled by the thin veil of fog that existed at chest level.

"I don't like this," Ronon said, moving to her side.

"Neither do I," Teyla admitted, warily scanning the area again, even though they were obviously alone.

"It's like it's dead," Rodney said, moving to her other side.

She shook her head. "No, not dead. There are sounds in the forest."

They all seemed to hold their breath as they waited, listening for noises. They were there, just very quiet.

"Something's not right," Ronon said. He walked forward a bit, his sidearm still raised as he tried to peer through the dim lighting of the forest.

"It's quiet," Rodney said.

"Yes," Teyla agreed. "But that is not all." She paused for a moment, and not only listened, but felt. "It is as if the forest is sick."

Both men turned to look at her skeptically, but it was Rodney who spoke. "The forest is sick?"

Teyla did her best not to get angry at his condescending tone. "Can't you feel it?" she asked. "It _feels_ wrong."

After a few seconds Ronon nodded. "You're right. I've been to a lot of planets, and it's never been like this… it feels unnatural."

"Yes," Teyla said, nodding her head. It did feel unnatural, and something about that made her even more wary.

"We're okay though, right?" Rodney asked, starting to get flustered as he often did when he was nervous.

"We are fine, Dr. McKay," Teyla said reassuring him. "There is no one here but us."

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking around anxiously.

"You are the one holding the life signs reader, are you not?"

"Oh," he said, slightly embarrassed. "Right." He turned on the small hand held device and looked at it intensely. "Just us," he said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Teyla saw Ronon roll his eyes, but before he could say anything to Rodney she interrupted. "Let's go," she said, looking out at the surrounding trees. "Ronon, take point. I will bring up the rear."

He nodded and headed in to the trees. Rodney followed closely behind him, one hand hovering over the gun strapped to his hip and the other holding his hand held computer device. "It's that way," he said, pointing slightly to the left.

Once they got further into the forest they found an old, long, abandoned track, which they followed for the most part. So far it was leading them in the right direction. They remained quiet as they walked, and Teyla had a sudden pang of longing. If John were there, surely it would not seem so gloomy. He would be talking or telling jokes, anything to make it more comfortable.

She forced her thoughts back to the present and watched the trail behind them with increasing scrutiny. The sooner they finished the mission, the sooner they could leave—it was a welcoming thought.

Just over three hours later, the trees around the path began to thin out. They were much smaller than the others, and seeing the charred remains of once giant trees mixed in among them, she began to dread the reason why.

Teyla stepped past the edge of the forest, and couldn't help but gasp as she saw the ruins that lay before them. It was obvious that this place had once been a magnificent ancient facility, but that was no longer the case. She had no idea what had caused such destruction, but, whatever it was, it had demolished everything but a smaller structure near the center, and even that appeared to be unstable.

"What happened here?" she asked, her voice shaky with loss of hope.

"Was it the Wraith?" Ronon asked, turning to look at Rodney.

"No," he said quietly as he walked to the edge of the ruins and began to pick his way through the rubble. "No, I don't think so."

"What then?" Ronon asked, following closely behind Dr. McKay.

Teyla watched as Rodney used the hand held computer to scan the area. A worried look crossed his face. "What?" she asked nervously, stepping around a large boulder-sized piece of wall.

He glanced down at the device again to double check his findings before answering. "I'm picking up radiation," he said as he turned to look at her. "A lot of radiation."

"Are we in danger?"

He shook his head. "No, it's just under acceptable exposure levels. But either way we don't want to stay here too long."

Ronon snorted something that sounded like a repressed laugh. "It's not like there's much to see."

Teyla inclined her head upon hearing his words. "Indeed there is very little left. Is there a reason to stay?" she added, turning to look at Dr. McKay.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "Of course there's a reason," he said, reverting back to his normal, over-intelligent self. "There is a power reading coming from in there." He pointed at the remaining structure before continuing. "I don't know what it is, but it's sending out a very strong signal. So unless you want to pass up the opportunity to find something that might help us, then yes, let's go."

"I was only asking, Dr. McKay," Teyla said, needing to grit her teeth as her patience wore thin. It was normally not this bad, but with the combined stress and lack of sleep, Rodney was wearing on her nerves more than usual.

"Right," he said, his tone halfway to apologetic. "Well, uh… shall we?" He began to make his way toward the structure, the other two following behind him.

The facility had been large, but not overly so. However, with all the loose debris lying on the ground, it took them nearly fifteen minutes to make it to the small building safely.

Up close, the structure appeared less frail—but she had no reason to trust its stability.

"It's a fallout shelter of some kind," Rodney explained as he made his way around to the East side of the building.

"I guess it worked," Ronon said as he followed Dr. McKay, Teyla walking close behind him.

Just as Teyla walked around the corner of the building, she saw a small and unobtrusive doorway located directly in the center of the East side. Rodney quickly went to work, and with only a few minor adjustments of the control panel, he was able to activate the door.

It slid open surprisingly easily given how long it had been unused. Teyla caught a sudden waft of stale, nearly putrid air. The smell was so overpowering that she was forced to cough into her sleeve until she could adjust to the air.

"What has happened here," she said, moving until she was standing directly in front of the doorway. The urge to cover up her nose was held at bay only by the knowledge that she was leading this mission—and John wouldn't do it in her situation.

"I don't know," Rodney said before he paused to cough. "But there are no signs of radiation inside. Whatever it is, this place is protected."

Teyla entered the building directly behind Rodney, and Ronon came in after her. They had stepped into a small room—it appeared to only be an entryway; there was no equipment of any kind.

"This way," Rodney said, leading them through a doorway to the right. Thankfully the sensor was still working and they had no need to stop and adjust the controls.

As the door opened, another more powerful, waft of the smell assaulted them. This time it was impossible to stop from coughing, and Teyla nearly doubled over.

After a few moments, when she was finally able to regain her composure, she stepped past a still choking Rodney and into the room. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw what the room contained. Not only were there at least a dozen Ancient work consoles, but there were Ancients.

They were all dead. Suddenly Teyla recognized the smell in the air… rotted flesh.

She felt the burn of bile at the back of her throat as she looked around the room some more, taking in the situation more completely. Some of the corpses were sitting at chairs in front of the control panels and others were merely lying on the ground. Either way, it was a sight that would haunt her for a long time.

"Oh my God," Rodney said quietly, stepping up behind her. "There has to be at least twenty of them."

Teyla nodded her head—there were at least that many, but she would not be surprised if there were indeed more.

"Dr. McKay," she said, glancing at him quickly before turning to look at the largest of the consoles. "Get what you need, I do not like the idea of staying here longer than we have to."

"Don't worry," he replied. "I was thinking the exact same thing." He moved towards the large console—they could only assume it was the main one as it was situated on an elevated platform above the rest.

Rodney immediately began to bring up various displays via the controls. "This is… I've never seen anything like it. It might take a while."

Teyla nodded her head. "Ronon and I will scout the rest of the building. You should stay here and get as much information as you can."

"Right," he responded distractedly. "I'll see if I can somehow download all of this data."

"Alright," she acknowledged. "We'll be in radio contact."

"Uh huh," he replied a few seconds later, obviously having already immersed himself in the task of shifting through data.

Teyla looked at Ronon and then pointed toward the door on the far side of the room. They would loop through the building and find out what they could.

**OoOoOoOoO**

It took them hardly any time to explore the remaining sections of the facility. They came across nothing that would be of use to them, only more dead Ancients, this time in sparsely furnished living quarters. It was a horrible sight to witness and the pair did not linger, instead moving through as quickly as they could while still fulfilling their duties.

They were just preparing to head back when they heard Rodney's voice come in over the radio.

"_You need to get back here right now!"_

"Dr. McKay," she said, talking into her radio as she jogged down a hallway that lead back to the control room. "What is going on?"

It was a few seconds before he replied and, for that moment of silence, Teyla feared the worst, terror seizing at her.

"_Nothing's happening," _he said exasperatedly and Teyla slowed her pace a bit._ "But you have to see this. You won't believe what I found."_

They arrived in the room moments after the last transmission.

"Ah, good," Rodney said as he saw them come in.

"What did you find?" Ronon asked, cutting straight to the chase.

"Actually, I found these," he said smugly. He lifted two things off the main console, on in each hand. "Am I good, or what?"

A relieved grin immediately spread across Teyla's face. "Are they charged?"

He nodded excitedly. "Two almost fully charged ZPMs, ripe for the taking."

"We must get these back to Atlantis. We have no idea if or when the Wraith will show up," she said quickly. "How long until you're done here?"

Rodney glanced down at the screen of his laptop before responding. "Another three minutes and I'll have all of the information from this database downloaded. Then we'll take it back and we can go over it in Atlantis."

Teyla let out a sigh of relief. They would be going home soon.

"Did you find out what happened here?" Ronon asked, looking around at all the bodies that remained in the room.

The look on Rodney's face turned from smug to queasy in a matter of seconds as he surveyed the room again.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure," he admitted. "My ancient's a little rusty, so we won't be able to get the whole story until someone translates it. But from what I can gather from the last few updates in the system, there was a nuclear explosion."

"Then how did this place survive?" Teyla asked incredulously.

Rodney began to pack up the ZPMs in his bag as he explained. "The ZPMs were powering a shield around this building, which was effectively the control center."

"The rest?" Teyla asked, referring to all of the ruins they had seen outside.

"A lot of radioactive material was involved in the construction of the drones. There was most likely an accident in one of the sections of the plant, and, when that exploded, it would have caused a chain reaction, destroying anything and everything was an energy source."

"The drones," Teyla said quietly.

"Yes, they were a huge number stored here, but they would have all been destroyed in the explosion. They were basically more fuel for the fire, and they only served to increase the magnitude of destruction."

"How come the planet wasn't destroyed then, if the explosion was that big?" Ronon asked. He did have a point, if there was that much fuel, what could have stopped it from spreading all over?

"Look," Rodney said, starting to get frustrated. "I'm not exactly an expert on how drones are made. But from what we can see, I can only assume that the explosion was of a very high magnitude, but with more localized effects. It's possible that another shield used to exist around this entire area, and that stopped anything else from being destroyed completely."

"But the explosion would have knocked out the shield generator if it was not in this building, would it not?" Teyla inquired.

"Yes, and that's why the trees are unhealthy. The shield wasn't able to completely stop the effects, because at some point the explosion destroyed the power source. The radiation leaked out, and so did a lot of the smoke and ash obviously."

"How do you know?"

"Because it's cloudy outside," Rodney replied, his patience obviously wearing thin. "What you're seeing out there is the end of a nuclear winter… a bad one."

"Wouldn't a nuclear winter have destroyed most, if not all of the plant life on this planet?"

"Yes," Rodney said, pausing only to check the status of the download on his computer. "But it's been a _long_ time since then, the trees aren't that tall, so they're new. They're obviously from after the explosion."

"But they appear to be quite numerous," she pointed out. "Wouldn't the radiation poison them irreparably?"

"Look," he said, finally losing what little patience he had left. "I'm not a botanist. They are probably a million different possibilities for why the trees are so abundant, including theories of adaptation. But I don't know them, and I don't really care. I'm more concerned with getting the ZPMs and the database information back to Atlantis."

"Of course," she said, mentally scolding herself for getting sidetracked. "My apologies, Dr. McKay."

He almost looked ashamed. "Right," he said awkwardly as he finished packing up. "Well, we're ready to go."

"Good," Ronon said as he headed for the door.

On their way, Teyla couldn't help but ask about what had happened to the people.

Rodney sighed. "There isn't any radiation inside the building. From what I can discern, there was automatic safety response that sealed this building in the case of a containment leak. The locks couldn't be overridden unless the radiation levels outside were safe."

"So they starved to death waiting for the radiation levels to go down?" she asked, horrified at the thought.

"Yes, and because this entire place was sealed up, the bodies were somewhat preserved. That's why they haven't been reduced to skeletons yet."

"Those poor people," Teyla said, her heart constricting out of sympathy.

"It was probably better this way," Rodney said.

"What do you mean?"

"If they had managed to override the locks they would have escaped the planet, only to die a few weeks later from radiation poisoning."

**OoOoOoOoO**

Their trip back to the gate seemed overly long, and despite having found two ZPMs, Teyla was still feeling pessimistic about their chances of winning this war. She couldn't shake the image of the dead Ancients. They were the most intelligent and sophisticated people to have ever lived in the galaxy, yet they couldn't even defeat the Wraith. How could the Atlantis expedition have any hope to? How had they managed to survive even this long?

She wished that John were there with them. He would at least be able to brighten things up a bit, if not with encouraging words then with his continuous friendly banter with Rodney. It was always entertaining and helped to keep their missions less stressful.

A slight rustle in the brush broke Teyla out of her thoughts and back to the present. She immediately raised her gun and turned around—walking backwards and watching the trail behind them very closely.

"Hear something?" Ronon asked from his position at point.

She looked around again. "Perhaps," she responded quietly. "Though I cannot be too certain. It was quiet and this fog does not help matters."

"What was it?" Rodney asked apprehensively as he looked frantically from side to side.

Teyla turned back around. "An animal perhaps," she said. "Or possibly nothing."

He looked down at the computer in his hand. "There aren't any life signs other than us," he said.

"No, there wouldn't be," she responded. "The Ancients didn't calibrate their detectors to show the life signs of any thing other than the Wraith and humans."

"How do you know that?" he asked skeptically.

"I believe Dr. Zelenka told me that."

Rodney focused his attention back on the path ahead, but Teyla could have sworn that she heard him mutter, "Well, he could have told me."

As they continued to make their way toward the gate a feeling of uneasiness crept up on Teyla, and try as she might she could not shake it. She kept turning to look over her shoulder—it was as if she could feel something watching her.

Rodney was first to speak of it. "Does anyone else feel like something bad is going to happen?" he whispered as he drew his side arm.

"You always feel like that," Ronon pointed out, but he kept his voice quiet too, as if he also felt it.

"No," Teyla said. "There is something amiss, I can also feel it." Taking another glimpse at their surroundings she added, "We are not far from the gate. Perhaps another five minutes."

"Good," Rodney said, still scanning the trees for a sign of something.

The closer they got to the gate, the stronger the feeling got. Teyla was almost certain that there was something following them. It was evident that Rodney felt the same because he had taken to looking over his shoulder every two or three seconds as he walked, and he kept his gun in his hands, an action that was uncharacteristically Rodney.

Even the slightest snap of a twig underneath one of their feet caused Rodney to twitch nervously. His breathing was shallow and Teyla could not remember if she had ever seen him this on edge before, although he certainly had good reason to be. Even she felt tense and was liable to spook at any sudden sound or movement.

Glancing ahead of them she could barely make out where the trees became a bit thinner, signaling that they were coming up on the clearing with the gate. Just as her shoulders began to slouch with relief there was a loud growling noise from behind her.

She began to whip around to where the noise had come from, but, before she could, she heard a series of gunshots. The next thing she knew, her vision went black, and all she could feel was pain.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** This story will contain spoilers for up to episode 309 - Phantoms.

**Chapter 4**

For a moment all she could fixate on was the pain as it threatened to overwhelm her. Her vision swam in front of her eyes, but she forced herself to concentrate on her surroundings, pushing away the pain for the time being and fixing all of her attention on their situation.

The scene around her came into focus quickly; the sensation was disorienting, but she fought the case of vertigo as she looked around her. The absolute first thing she noticed was that she was clenching tightly onto her upper left arm with her right hand. She could feel the slippery warm blood seeping through her uniform and coating her fingers—she'd been shot.

She grimaced as she tightened her fingers and _felt_ the bullet, or bullets, still imbedded in the muscle of her arm. It wasn't a life threatening injury, but neither was it minor.

Teyla was facing back the way they had come, and she could see red flashes coming from behind her and entering the trees. It was Ronon; he was shooting at whatever had been following them—obviously she had not been imagining it.

She could dimly make out sounds as well: the noise of Ronon's gun, intermediate and sporadic gunfire from an Earth weapon, and yelling. She could hear it, but it was stifled. It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't because of the muffling effects of the fog, but because of the surge of adrenaline in her own body—it was causing her heart to beat faster, the blood coursing through her veins quickly and creating a throbbing sound in her ears.

To Teyla it seemed to take forever to recover from the initial shock of being shot, but in reality it was maybe two seconds. Her head seemed to clear as the adrenaline kicked in; its effects near immediate.

* * *

"Head for the gate!" Teyla yelled over the noise, her voice unaffected by the recent events and carrying just as well as she'd hoped it would. "Ronon take point!"

"No!" he yelled back, still firing into the trees, even though Teyla was uncertain how he could see what he was shooting at. "You're shot," he said, glaring at Rodney. "I'll bring up the rear and you take point."

"Do not argue," she demanded, getting angry enough that she spun around fully in order to glare at him. "Head for the gate." Her voice left no room for disagreement.

She turned her head to look at Rodney, making sure he understood that he was included in those directions. "Go," she said, her voice the firmest she could make it.

For once in his life, he looked truly remorseful and Teyla found a small bit of comfort in that, but not enough to cause her anger to fade. He had shot her, and right now, in the heat of the moment, she was not in a forgiving mood.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, obviously still in shock over what had happened. They did not have time for this, apologies and everything else could wait until later, they needed to get to the gate.

She noticed that he was still holding the gun in his hands, even though they were shaking nearly enough to cause it to fall to the ground.

"Put that away," she said, still talking over the noise of Ronon firing. Rodney gulped and holstered his gun. "Now _go_."

When Rodney hesitated mid-turn she said, "We need to get those ZPMs back to Atlantis, Dr. McKay. Let's move." Her quickened voice sounded harsh and unforgiving to her own ears, but she would do what she had to.

"Ronon," she called over her shoulder. "Go!"

"They're still out there," he said as he passed her, making his way to the designated position of point.

"What do you mean _they?"_ Teyla asked, keeping her voice as steady as she could. She withdrew her own gun, wincing as she released pressure from the bullet wound. The uneasy feeling she'd originally had was still there, and she felt a lot better bringing up the rear with a weapon on her hand.

"Wolves," he said, scanning the area in front of them as they began to move. "First it was one, but now there are at least three."

Teyla followed the others as they retreated at a fast jog. She was doing her best to keep up with the other two, watch their backs _and_ not pass out from the pain that seemed to get worse with every jarring step she took. She gritted her teeth and blinked back tears—she was leading this mission and she was responsible for getting not only the other two members of her team, but also the ZPMs, back to Atlantis safely, and she'd be damned if she was going to let a few bullets in her arm stop her from doing that.

Not even a minute after they had started heading to the gate, Teyla began to hear more rustling sounds, these ones definitely closer than the last. Then she started to see glimpses of movement out of the corners of her eyes: streaks of grey amongst the dulled green of the forest.

Her heartbeat quickened, causing her blood pressure to rise and her arm to throb painfully. She could feel more blood soaking through the material and saturating her shirt, some of it falling to the ground, leaving a trail behind them.

When she clutched her gun tighter, a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over her, but she fought it back. They must be almost there… She glanced ahead of them; she could see the break in the tree line—they _were_ almost there.

A growl immediately brought her attention back to what was behind her. She gulped as she realized what was happening.

"They're circling us," she shouted up to Ronon as she aimed at one of the animals. It appeared to weave in and out of her vision, making it near impossible for her to fire at it.

"I know," he yelled back, picking up the pace.

Teyla heard another growl and the next thing she knew there was a large animal leaping at her. She reacted on instinct and fired two shots into its chest in rapid succession. It fell to the ground, whimpering and twitching in pain. She fired a third shot, this time directly into its skull, and it stopped moving.

She forced her eyes away from the wolf… or at least that's what people would have called it at one point. Centuries of living on a nuclear devastated planet had obviously caused the animals to evolve, mutating into grotesque beings. Catching more glimpses of the others she noticed that they all looked like that: unnatural, and skinny—on the verge of starvation. It was no wonder the animals had stalked and attacked the group; they were a fresh source of food in a barren land.

"We're almost there," Ronon said, firing a few rounds of his own. From the sounds of it, it was merely warning fire.

"Dr. McKay, dial the gate," she ordered, not even turning around to look at him. She had to stay focused on this.

Teyla jogged into the clearing just as she heard Rodney start dialing Atlantis. She continued to hold up her gun with her right hand, letting her left arm hang limp at her side. It was now taking all of her concentration and effort just to keep her sidearm trained on the movement in the bushes.

The entire planet seemed to be wobbling as different parts of her surroundings swam in and out of focus. The dizziness was no longer sporadic, but instead unrelenting. Her whole arm felt as if it was on fire, and it was becoming heavier and heavier as the pain became more and more unbearable. The wetness in the sleeve of her uniform was still present and she knew that the wound was continuing to bleed profusely.

One of the remaining wolves sprang from where it had been crouched in the underbrush. Teyla fired, but her arm shook as she pulled the trigger and the bullet went wide. Thankfully Ronon was standing only a step off to her right, and he had been prepared. The animal died, a red flash of light exploding a hole in its chest.

Before Teyla could even think of responding, she heard the telltale sign that meant Rodney had established a wormhole. Immediately afterward, she heard him making radio contact with the technician in the gate room. The words themselves were distorted to her, but she knew what was going on.

"We're good to go," Rodney said.

Teyla glanced behind her and saw him disappear through the gate. Then she turned to look at Ronon—he motioned for her to go first. She shook her head slightly, the movement causing the dizziness and nausea to increase tenfold. "No," she said, her voice coming out quietly and sounding odd to her ears. "Go," she demanded, looking at the gate.

He nodded reluctantly and didn't start moving toward the open wormhole until he was sure that she was following him, albeit unsteadily. It took much more effort than she would have liked to place one foot in front of the other without tripping.

They made it to the gate in a matter of seconds, and after she gave Ronon a stern look he walked through. She began to lift her foot to step through the event horizon, looking over her shoulder one last time to make sure that they were clear.

The remaining wolf emerged from the trees, evidently knowing that its intended meal was leaving. It crept towards her, clearly intending to jump at her.

She took a deep breath to clear her head as best she could. Then she fired her gun until there were no more bullets left. Her injury had left her unable to aim very well, but at least one of the bullets hit its mark and the wolf collapsed to the ground.

At one time she would have felt guilty for taking away the animal's life—it wasn't its fault that there was no food to be found. But the last few years had changed her, and now she could only feel as if she was doing it a favor.

Teyla turned to go through the gate and the movement sent waves of pressure throbbing through her head, causing her to stumble through the event horizon.

She came out the other side, barely catching sight of the gate room and its occupants before her body gave in to the injury and she fell to the floor.

* * *

Teyla struggled to open her eyelids, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't. They felt as if they were made of metal—much too heavy to move. Her inability to get her muscles to respond scared her, and she racked her mind, trying to recall what had happened. The last thing she remembered was stepping through the gate.

She felt alarmed as she realized that she must have fainted, probably from loss of blood. That would mean that she was in the Atlantis infirmary. It explained everything from why she was groggy to the heavy feeling that encompassed her entire body, with the exception of the burning ache in her arm.

A few seconds later she started to hear the quiet murmur of voices. She couldn't tell what they were saying; the words were all jumbled together. In her disoriented state she began to panic, fearful because everything was so muddled and vague. Soon after she realized that she knew the people that were talking, and instinctively she calmed—the recognition was soothing in a way, making her feel safer.

The smooth and serene sounding voice speaking right now was Carson, and from the pitch and lilt of his tone she could tell that he was explaining something to someone. Next she heard a low voice—Ronon. Then a third voice joined the conversation, this time feminine. No doubt that was Dr. Weir.

Teyla tried once again to open her eyes, hoping that this time her muscles would comply with her request. She had been shot, that was all; it did not mean that she needed to be lying around in the infirmary like she was on the brink of death.

She was surprised to hear a groan escape from her lips when she failed. The talking stopped for a moment until Carson started to say something. She must have been waking up, because she was able to pick out a few words and piece together what he was saying. He was saying her name and telling her to take it easy. Her entire body felt heavy and she wondered how long she had been out for, the thought almost causing her to panic.

Experimentally she tried moving her fingers, only to find that she could. Whatever drugs Dr. Beckett had given her must have been wearing off.

It felt like an eternity until she was finally able to open her eyes, even though in reality it was probably closer to about a minute. Taking in her surroundings quickly, Teyla noticed that she was indeed in the infirmary, and she had also been right as to who had been speaking. Carson was standing off to her left and both Ronon and Dr. Weir was near the foot of the bed, along with Rodney who looked mortified. For some reason, seeing them all there was comforting, though she could think of one person whose presence would be even more comforting.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Beckett asked quietly, looking down at her with a slightly worried look on his face.

"I'm fine," she said, forcing the words out past her dry throat. "What happened?" she asked anxiously, coughing afterwards at the discomfort she felt.

One of the nurses hurried over with some water, and as Teyla reached out to take the glass she realized that there was an intravenous drip in her right arm. A surge of fear passed through her body for a second before she shoved it to the side. The IV did not necessarily mean anything; it may just be precautionary.

Teyla drank the water and set the glass down on the small table beside the infirmary bed before looking around and waiting for someone to answer her question. It was Carson who complied.

"You were shot," he said hesitantly, looking at her a little oddly.

"I know," Teyla responded, missing the guilty look that flashed across Rodney's face. "I mean after that."

Carson nodded as he realized what she was asking. "I had to operate," he explained. "One of the bullets went straight through, but the other two got lodged in your arm. It took me a while to remove them without doing too much damage to the surrounding muscle." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Truthfully, I'm just glad that they didn't hit the bone."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

He gave her a small smile. "Don't worry about it love." Then he added, "You're going to be fine, but you lost a lot of blood. Too much blood."

He gave Teyla a look that told her he knew that she hadn't kept pressure on the wound like she should have. But thinking about it now, she wouldn't change that, even if she could. Her first priority was to her team and the Atlantis expedition, not to herself.

"I want to keep you over night for observation." She nodded, relieved that was all that was necessary. "I highly doubt there will be any lasting effects, but I want to be absolutely sure." She nodded again—Carson might be extra cautious, but it was part of what made him the good doctor that he was.

"How long until I can resume my duties?" she questioned hesitantly as she looked back and forth between Carson and Elizabeth. She hoped that it would not be too long; they needed every person that they had… and then some.

Dr. Beckett gave her a reassuring smile. "Not long," he said. "A few days at the most. We just need to make sure that your body's able to restore its strength. But that means that you need to rest for the next few days, don't do anything physical."

"Take your time," Elizabeth said, joining into the conversation. "And don't push yourself," she added, raising her eyebrow to create a knowing look. She knew Teyla well, mostly because in many ways they were made from the same cloth. They weren't the kind of people who could easily sit back and recover when there was work to be done.

"I'll try," she said, smiling at the other woman.

"Well," Elizabeth said. "I suppose that's all I can ask for." She grinned at Teyla. "I'm sorry but there are things that I need to see to." She paused as she turned to look at Dr. Beckett. "Keep me posted," she said. She turned and started walking for the exit, but paused after only a few steps. "And Teyla," she said. "You did good today."

Teyla smiled broadly as she watched Elizabeth finish crossing the room and slip out the door. Her approval meant more to Teyla than she would ever let on.

"Alright love," Carson said, bringing her attention back to him. "I have to go and check up on Major Lorne now, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you Dr. Beckett," she said kindly. "For everything."

He nodded and smiled at her before slipping away to attend to some other patients, including Major Lorne.

Teyla turned to look at the remaining two people. Ronon was… well, he was Ronon. He was sitting there and just looking at her, with maybe the barest hint of concern on his face. But he was always hard to read, unless he was angry, and right now she couldn't tell for certain what he was thinking.

A second later he walked over to the side of her bed where Dr. Beckett had been standing. "Get better," he said, his voice the same as normal: gruff and low. She merely nodded at his words. "I'm going to leave you two alone now," he said, glaring at Rodney over his shoulder. "I think that Dr. McKay has something he wants to say."

Rodney gulped audibly and began to twist his hands together in front of him.

Had the situation not been so serious, she might have laughed. Instead she nodded and Ronon gave her one more look before heading out of the infirmary.

Teyla looked at Rodney for the next few minutes as he gathered the courage to speak. Despite the fact that she already knew what he was about to say, she remained patient and let him take his time.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out eventually, not looking up to meet her gaze. "I… I didn't mean… I didn't mean to shoot you," he said.

"Of course not," she said, keeping her voice and kind as she could. There were times when she disagreed with Dr. McKay, and he often got on her nerves, but right now he was truly nervous and quite obviously racked with guilt. "I have no doubt that it was an accident."

He looked up at her and she was surprised to see the shocked look on his face. "So," he said. "So, you're not mad at me?"

Teyla shook her head. "No," she said, a smile still on her face.

"Oh," Rodney said. "Well, that's good."

"I know that I was angry and forceful with you before, but did you honestly believe that I would hold this against you?" she asked, hoping that his answer wouldn't be yes.

"No," he said, his shoulders slouching with relief. Then his whole body tensed. "Oh, shit!" he swore, tensing up again. "Oh, this is not good."

"What?" Teyla prompted, suddenly worried that there was something she had overlooked.

Rodney turned and looked at her with an almost fearful look in his eyes. "Sheppard's going to kill me!"

* * *

Five days later, Teyla found herself restlessly pacing the city. Today was the day that John was returning. She was irrationally nervous—she hadn't seen him in two months, and knowing that she would be seeing him in only a few hours made her stomach feel queasy… but in a good way.

While he was gone, she had tried not to dwell on how much she missed him, even though she had only accomplished that with minimal success. But now that he was coming back, she let herself think about that kind of stuff. She smiled in spite of her nervousness; she wouldn't have to miss it for much longer.

Checking her watch, Teyla headed for the control room. It wasn't very long until the Daedalus was scheduled to drop out of hyperspace and make contact with them. She wanted, no needed to be there when it happened, even if it meant waiting in the control room until that time.

As she rounded the last corner, she saw that Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay were already in the control room.

"Teyla," Elizabeth said when she saw her, motioning her over to where she was standing near one of the screens.

"What's going on?" Teyla asked uncertainly.

Elizabeth smiled. "The sensors just picked up a ship that exited hyperspace."

Teyla felt her face light up with anticipation. "The Daedalus?" she asked, even though the real question was 'John?'

A second later the familiar crackling noise came over the communication system. Elizabeth turned to look at Rodney and he nodded. "It's them," he said with a smile on his face.

"_Atlantis, this is Daedalus,"_ John said, his warm voice filtering over the radio.

Teyla felt her smile get even bigger, and even though she tried to control it, to make her happiness seem a little less obvious, she couldn't. She was sure that she had never been this happy to hear someone's voice before.

"Daedalus," Elizabeth replied, pressing the button on her earpiece and speaking into the small microphone. "This is Weir." She paused for a second. "Welcome home."

"_Thanks,"_ John replied brightly, his own happiness tangible, even over the radio connection.

"You've missed a lot," she added. "We have a surprise for you. Well, actually two surprises."

"_Oh really?"_ John asked_. "Well, we've got a surprise for you guys too."_

Suddenly a beeping noise began to emanate from one of the consoles and Teyla's heart started to race. That was never a good sign.

"We're picking up another ship that just dropped out of hyperspace right beside the Daedalus," Rodney said frantically and he looked at the screen.

The smile instantly disappeared from Teyla's face as worry and fear coursed through her veins.

"Daedalus, this is Weir. Be advised that there is another ship closing in our your position." Her voice was frantic, but Teyla couldn't blame her. It was just there luck that a hive ship would find their position just as the Daedalus had exited hyperspace and was at its weakest.

When a couple of seconds went by and they didn't get a response Elizabeth tried again. "Daedalus, this is Weir. I repeat, there's another ship closing in on your position!"

"_Calm down Elizabeth,"_ was John's soothing reply. _"I told you we brought a surprise."_

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Teyla quickly made her way to the landing pad along with Rodney and Elizabeth. No amount of prompting had been able to make John tell them what his surprise was. Instead, he insisted that they came down to the lower part of the city where the Daedalus was to land so they could see for themselves.

Glancing over at Rodney and Elizabeth, and seeing the looks on their faces, she knew that they had the same guess as her in regards to what the surprise was. Teyla silently wished they were correct—the thing they needed most right now was something to even the odds in their fight against the Wraith.

As the three of them emerged from the transport they literally ran into Ronon as he rounded the corner.

"Ronon," Elizabeth said, sounding shocked as the placed on hand on his shoulder to steady herself. "What are you doing down here?"

"I came to see Sheppard," he said simply as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Of course," Elizabeth said. Then she added, "My, news sure does travel fast around here doesn't it?"

Ronon nodded as he stepped over to the side, letting Elizabeth precede them all down the corridor.

It wasn't long before they made it to the doors that led out to the landing pad. They didn't stop, and instead headed straight outside after Elizabeth swiped her hand over the sensor.

Teyla shivered involuntarily and wrapped her arms tightly around her torso as she stepped out into the cold air. Being so close to the water always made the weather seem worse than in any elevated part of the city. Also, it did not help that it was already unpleasant outside—the wind was gusting and creating waves that crashed against the sides of the landing pad, sending a fine but chilling mist over them. In addition there were rain clouds looming above their heads.

Wrapping her arms even tighter around herself, Teyla stood beside the door, hoping to somewhat shield herself from some of the conditions. In hindsight she realized she should have brought a jacket, or she should have at least worn something warmer than one of her Athosian made tops. But she had been much too preoccupied with what was about to happen to even think twice about dressing for the weather.

Another surge of nervousness mixed with excitement coursed through her veins as she thought of John. He was on the Daedalus… she would be seeing him in a matter of minutes. She felt a strong fluttering sensation in her stomach, but did her best to ignore it, instead focusing her attention on the cloud covered sky. A voice broke her from her reverie.

"What are you smiling about?" Rodney asked her suddenly. His voice wasn't necessarily mean or condescending—it sounded like he just wanted to know.

Teyla did her best to fight back the grin on her face, but she didn't succeed very well. "I am excited to see what the surprise is," she said, the partial lie slipping from her lips.

Rodney looked at her peculiarly, but didn't say anything. They both returned their gazes to the clouds and waited for the Daedalus to come into view.

It wasn't long before Teyla could pick out the hum of the engines from the sound of the water. Even though she did not think it had been possible, her heart started to race even faster. Sometimes the true depth of her feelings for John shocked her, but other times they did not—especially when she considered all they had been through together.

Quickly glancing down from the sky, Teyla saw that even Ronon looked excited—they were all truly anxious for the Daedalus, and John, to return.

They did not have to wait much longer, because the next thing Teyla knew the clouds almost directly above them were being disturbed and blown into unnatural swirling patterns. The noise of the ship grew louder as the Daedalus dropped into view. It touched down gently—or at least gently for a ship of its size—on the large open landing pad in front of the group.

When the noise grew louder still, Teyla was almost certain that her guess in regards to the surprise was correct. Only seconds later it was confirmed when a second ship passed through the clouds to land beside the Daedalus.

Pausing to take it in, Teyla saw that it was very similar to the Daedalus, and no doubt an Earth vessel. It wasn't exactly the same though, and piecing together information John had told her before, she concluded that it was the next model of ship the Air Force had designed.

Looking around at Rodney, Ronon and Elizabeth, Teyla could see they were just as excited to see it as she was. There was nothing better they could have asked for.

"Well," Elizabeth said, barely able to contain the grin on her face. "Let's go and say thank you for the surprise."

* * *

They made their way over, past the new ship, and stopped outside the large cargo bay doors of the Daedalus. Within seconds the ramp was being lowered and a flood of people made their way out. Most of them were carrying supplies and headed straight into the city without stopping. One person did not, and instead threaded his way through the crowd to greet them.

John's eyes locked with Teyla's immediately and she felt another flutter of excitement. He was grinning broadly, and looked almost idiotic. It would have been funny except she knew she looked the same way. Along with the excitement she felt a huge sense of relief. She did not know what she had been expecting, but things rarely went as they were planned in Atlantis, and she was just thankful John had made it back all right. Though maybe it shouldn't surprise her, after all, he did promise that he would come back.

Her fingers rose unconsciously to finger his dog tag where it lay on a chain around her neck. John Sheppard was not a man who broke his promises.

As much as Teyla wanted to run up and meet him, to practically throw herself at him, hold him, and make sure that he was truly there, she couldn't. Their personal relationship was not to affect their professional one; it was another part of their unspoken agreement. It was necessary, and even now she did not mind that much—there would always be time for that later.

Instead of giving into her natural impulses, she continued to look at him, telling him with her eyes that she had missed him and that she was glad for his return.

"John," Elizabeth said, interrupting their silent communication. John turned to look at Dr. Weir, and when he did she added, "Welcome back."

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "It's good to be back." His eyes caught Teyla's for a second before he looked back at Elizabeth.

"So," he said excitedly. "How do you like the surprise?" He glanced over at the other ship.

"It's fantastic," Elizabeth said as she turned to look at it again. "But you were only supposed to be doing a supply run and updating the SGC as to our situation here. How did you manage to convince them to send another ship?" The astonishment in her voice was clear.

Teyla could not help but wonder the same thing. The SGC had requested that a senior member of the expedition return to Earth along with the Daedalus, so they could be given a full update, in person. But she had not expected John to ask them for more something like another ship, or at least not successfully.

John shrugged. "I didn't."

"What?" Dr. Weir asked, confusion evident in her voice as she turned to face him again. "I was concerned they were going to pull the plug on the expedition, not give us another weapon for our fight against the Wraith."

"Well," John said. "It seems that with the Ori threat having been temporarily neutralized, the SGC is more inclined to finance our fight against the Wraith. They're hoping we may find something to help them in the future." He paused for a moment before adding. "Well that and the fact that Dr. Jackson wants to return sometime, which he can't do if we're not here."

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. "Oh really?" she questioned.

"Uh huh," John replied. "It seems like he has quite the pull there, back on Earth."

"But a ship?" Elizabeth asked, once again turning to look at it. Teyla could tell she was still in shock over its appearance.

"Not just any ship," John said. "It's the Nikephoros." He paused for effect.

"The what!" Rodney asked, thoroughly confused.

John sighed. "Ni – key – phor – os," he said, separating out the syllables. "It means bringer of victory in Greek." Teyla almost wanted to laugh at the excited look on his face.

"Well," Elizabeth said. "Let's just hope it lives up to its name."

John smiled at her before turning to look at it. "It's pretty fancy though, huh? Plus it even comes with its own crew. A pretty good souvenir if you ask me."

"Is this the one that Carter was working on?" Rodney asked, piping up again.

"Yeah, I think so," John replied, turning back around.

"Are you kidding me?" Rodney asked, sounding thrilled. "That is one good ship."

Everyone turned to look at him with questioning looks.

As soon as he noticed he blushed slightly. "Well, I mean it's going to be good. But obviously _I_ could have done better."

John sighed. "It's good to see nothing's changed while I was gone. McKay's still as arrogant as ever."

"Hey," he said resentfully. "What I just said… some people would consider that a compliment."

"Right," John said, rolling his eyes when Rodney wasn't looking. Teyla had to fight the urge to laugh. Sometimes they really were just overgrown children.

"Well," Elizabeth said, interrupting their antics. "I must say, this is the best surprise we could have asked for. I just don't know why the SGC didn't inform us of this in our last few contacts."

John grinned at her knowingly. "I asked them to keep it a secret. I figured it'd be more fun if it was a surprise."

"More fun?" Rodney squeaked. "How is this more fun? We thought it was a Wraith ship. If we had drones we might have destroyed the ship before it even landed."

John raised one eyebrow in question as he turned to look at Rodney. "But we don't have drones."

"Well, no," Rodney admitted.

"And even if we did," John added. "We'd need a ZPM to fire them. Now what ZPM were you planning on using?"

"Well I didn't name them," Rodney said, returning to his normal condescending tone.

John's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about?" he asked, looking first at Rodney who just smiled at him smugly, and then turning to look at Elizabeth for confirmation.

"Which brings us to our two surprises," she said happily.

John looked around between all of them, as if he was trying to tell if they were joking.

"Teyla and the rest of your team found two ZPMs last week, on a planet that had been an ancient drone factory."

"Good job," John said, looking at Teyla proudly.

She couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed under the praise, but it meant a lot nonetheless.

"Oh great," Rodney said bitterly. "I find the two ZPMs and she gets all the credit."

"Hey," John said indignantly.

"No," Teyla said, stopping the possibility of an argument. "Dr. McKay deserves most of the credit. He was the one who found them."

John snorted, obviously not agreeing, but he remained silent.

In all honesty Teyla did not care who was credited with finding the ZPMs, the important thing was that they had found them, period.

"Well, why don't we head in, and then you and Colonel Caldwell can brief me later?" she asked, looking at John.

"Sounds good," he replied happily.

"Alright," Elizabeth assented. "Meet me in my office in thirty minutes." With that she headed off towards the entrance to the city.

The rest of the group followed more slowly behind her. Teyla fell in step beside John. "Welcome back," she said quietly as she glanced up at him.

He grinned broadly. "Thanks," he replied, his voice just as quiet.

He looked as if he was about to say something more, but another wave large gust of wind blew across the landing pad, interrupting him.

Teyla couldn't stop the shiver that traveled down her spin. She tightened her arms around her torso yet again.

The next thing she knew John had removed his leather jacket and was holding it out to her. It meant that he was left in only a T-shirt and would be just as cold as her, but she knew if she declined his offer he would merely persist until she accepted.

"Thank you," she said as she reached out to take the jacket from his outstretched hand, and then put it on.

She could tell the moment he saw the bandage on her arm because a look of fear crossed his face and he froze. Before she could begin to reassure him that everything was all right, he was talking.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice harsh and filled with worry, completely different than it had been five minutes earlier.

It was Ronon who answered. "She was shot," he stated as walked up to them and stopped too. If Teyla did not know better she would have said he was smiling.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with worry as he reached out to touch her arm lightly.

Teyla was a little shocked at the depth of his reaction, but she didn't show it. "I am fine," she said reassuringly. "Dr. Beckett removed the bullets and the muscle is healing well."

John's face tightened, whether out of anger or self-resentment she couldn't tell—though knowing him, it could well be both. "How the hell did this happen?" he asked, turning to glare at Ronon.

"Don't ask me," Ronon said before turning to look at Rodney who had just caught up with them.

"McKay," John practically growled.

One look at the scene told Rodney all he needed to know. His face went white and Teyla heard him gulp out of fear.

"It was an accident," he said, his words coming out in a rush. "I didn't mean to."

Teyla wrapped her hand around John's forearm before he could do anything he would regret later.

"You shot Teyla!" he asked, his tone a combination of both anger and disbelief.

"It was an accident," Rodney replied, seeming a little less likely to faint.

"You shot Teyla!" John repeated, although this time it wasn't a question, it was an accusation.

"I am fine John," Teyla said, trying to reassure him. "Dr. McKay is right, it was an accident."

"He shot you," John said, his voice losing some of its volume, but none of its anger as he turned around to face her.

"And I am fine," she said, looking into his eyes. He didn't say anything and Teyla hoped she had convinced him. It appeared that she had, but she did not let go of his arm just in case.

"I can't believe you shot her," he said once again, turning around to look at Rodney.

A sudden look of incredulity crossed Rodney's face. "I can't believe you're making such a big deal out of this."

"Excuse me?" John asked. Teyla could feel the muscles in his arm tense—she tightened her grip as a precaution.

"What?" Rodney asked. "You shot me _and_ Ronon." He paused for half a second. "In the same day."

"That was different," John explained through clenched teeth. "I was under the influence of a Wraith power device. Were you?"

"Well… no," Rodney admitted reluctantly. "But you still shot us."

"Dr. McKay," Teyla said, figuring that it was time to intervene. "Perhaps you should leave now," she suggested. She knew that in a few hours time John's anger would be less and he would no longer have the urge to hurt Rodney, but for now, it was safer that they were not together.

"Right," Rodney said meekly as he all but ran for the door.

Once he was inside Teyla released her hold on John. He looked down at her, concern still written on his face. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, obviously knowing her well enough to tell that it wasn't something she could move past as easily as she had appeared to.

She nodded. "Yes," she said quietly.

He seemed reluctant to accept her answer, but he didn't question her on it.

Ronon started heading towards the door and they followed him, falling in step once again. Every once and a while John would look down at her, but he remained silent. After they reached the door John went to turn right, heading for Elizabeth's office.

"I'll see you later?" he questioned, sounding almost uncertain.

She grinned. Checking to make sure Ronon was out of sight she said, "You should know the answer to that."

"Yeah," he said smiling back. "I guess I should."

Just as he moved to turn around she said his name and he stopped.

"Yeah?" he questioned.

"I am very glad you are back."

* * *

After grabbing a bite to eat in the mess hall, Teyla made her way to John's quarters. She wasn't sure how long his meeting with Dr. Weir would be, so she took the long way there, bypassing all of the transporters. As anxious as she was to see him, she did not want to spend a long time waiting for him—it was something she'd done for the past two months, and in all honesty she was tired of it. Obviously it was not John's fault that he had been called away—it was part of his job and she didn't blame him, but she still did not find the thought of waiting to be very appealing.

Checking her watch, Teyla figured that it could not be much longer until the debriefing was over—she picked up her pace a bit. In less than five minutes she was swiping her hand over the sensor that lead to John's quarters. She couldn't help but smile as she saw the familiar Johnny Cash poster that still hung over the wall, and the unfinished copy of War and Peace that sat on the dresser.

Just as she began to open the cover of the novel, she heard the door slide open behind her. She turned around, all thoughts of the book vanishing from her head instantly.

"Hey," John said quietly as he dropped his bag to the ground and walked over to her.

"Hi," she replied softly, suddenly feeling nervous, though there was no reason to.

He paused directly in front of her, and they were literally standing toe to toe. She looked up at him with a timid smile on her face. He smiled back, but it was not the stupid happy grin from before, it was… she couldn't really describe it. It was intense and heartfelt and honest and…

She lost track of her thoughts as John reached down and tucked one strand of hair behind her ear, gently caressing her face as he withdrew his hand. She couldn't help but shiver in anticipation as his skin came into contact with her own.

For a while they merely stood there, looking at each other without any reservations—Teyla savored it.

"I missed you," John whispered, his voice so quiet that she barely heard it.

Unexpected tears sprang into her eyes at the unanticipated and rare moment of emotional honesty, but she held them back. "I missed you too," she replied, her voice just as soft.

"Good," he said as he inclined his head to the side slightly. When he started to lower his head towards hers, Teyla closed her eyes and tilted her head up. Their lips met somewhere in the middle, and Teyla was surprised to find the kiss soft and slow, not hard and passionate as it had been that day in the gym. Though that wasn't to say Teyla did not find the sensations of John's lips moving tenderly over hers to be unappealing—in fact it was quite the opposite.

She slipped her hands up and around his neck, letting one move up further to tangle in his hair. She pulled his head towards hers slightly, increasing the pressure of the kiss. John responded by pulling her body closer, so they were practically occupying the same spot.

Feeling the heat between them intensify, Teyla parted her lips and ran her tongue lightly along John's lips. His reaction was immediate, and in no time the kiss had been deepened and their tongues were pressing against each other.

The calmness began to wear off as their bodies responded to the fact that it had been too long since they had been together. It was not long before Teyla found herself tugging at John's shirt in order to free it from the waistband of his pants. She was surprised by her own determined actions, but she need this—she needed to show John how she felt about him, especially since it had not been said out loud.

While she was busy undressing him, he was returning the favor. His hands moved from her belt, to the jacket, and then back to the belt—it was as if he could not decide which piece of clothing to remove first. Eventually he settled for slipping the jacket off her shoulders. In the process his fingers brushed against her neck and Teyla stopped, her hands only partially finished with the removal of his belt.

"What's wrong?" John asked, pulling back so he could look at her, worry written all over his face. "Did I hurt your arm?"

She shook her head. "Here," she said as she reached behind her neck to undo the chain that held his dog tag. "This is yours."

Before she could find the clasp on the chain, John reached behind her and grabbed her hands gently, stopping her movements. She gave him a puzzled look as he brought her hands back in front of her.

"John?" she inquired.

"Keep it," he said, his voice sounding slightly odd.

"I can't," she said as she pulled her hands out of his and reached behind her neck again. "It's yours and…"

He shook his head. "I want you to have it."

She paused, her hands hovering as she took in what he was saying. "Are you sure?" she asked quietly. She moved her hands to hang at her sides, knowing what his answer would be.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

She smiled at him, not quite sure what to make of his decision. "Thank you," she whispered.

He smiled back and leaned down to kiss her forehead lightly. She sighed at the comfort the simple action brought.

"Now," he said, his voice almost mischievous as he leaned back slightly. "Where were we?"

"I believe," Teyla began in a slow but teasing voice. "That we were right here." She wrapped one hand securely around the back of his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. The next thing she knew his hands were around her waist and she was once again pressed tightly against him.

"Yep," John murmured, somewhere in between kisses. "This is definitely where we left off."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Only partially awake, Teyla shifted slightly so that her back was pressed up more tightly against John's chest. His arm tightened around her stomach in response even though she knew he was asleep—the snoring gave it away. To hear it again was more comforting than words.

Lying there, Teyla remembered back to the night before. It had been quite obvious that John was just as happy to see her, as she was him. The sex had been amazing, both times. A smile drifted onto her face as she remembered exactly just how amazing it had been. To say that John was a talented lover would be an understatement.

She simply lay there, content and peaceful for the first time in months, as she remembered the details. The time they spent together was always wonderful, but it had seemed different the previous night. Teyla knew it was due to the long time they had been separated. That simple fact had other effects as well, like causing her to almost say something aloud that she wasn't sure John was ready to hear.

_They toppled onto the bed, so occupied with reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies that they hardly even noticed. It wasn't long before John managed to position them so that he had Teyla's nearly naked body pinned between his and the bed._

_Not willing to break the heated kiss, Teyla reached down awkwardly and began to slide off John's boxers. He laughed quietly against her mouth before helping her achieve her goal._

_An intense surge of desire filled Teyla as she felt John's evident arousal pressing firmly against her thigh. Need driving her actions, her hands reached for her own underwear, only to find that John had the same idea. In hardly any time, the last piece of clothing separating them was removed._

_John broke the kiss and tilted his head to the side. Not patient enough to let him ravage her neck, Teyla hooked one of her legs through John's and in a quick and fluid movement flipped them over so that she was now pinning him to the bed._

_He looked up at her, surprise evident on his face, but that was not the only thing written there—his desire was clear as well. Not willing or able to wait any longer Teyla raised herself above John's erection and lowered herself down slowly, savoring the feeling of him inside her once more._

_She watched John through a cloud of pleasure—his eyes rolled back in his head, and a moan that sounded suspiciously like her name fell from her lips. Remaining still for a moment, Teyla took everything in: the physical sensations, the emotions—it was something that she never wanted to forget._

_John did not remain passive for long, and the next thing she knew he was holding her hips tightly. With both his hands and his eyes he urged her to begin moving. A sultry smile graced her face as she did exactly that—rhythmically moving her hips in a way that she knew drove him crazy._

_Time blurred into one endless stretch of ecstasy as John began to move with her, meeting each grind of her hips with an upward thrust of his own. They continued moving together until Teyla felt as if her body was on fire. Two more thrusts and they were both gone, reaching climax with simultaneous cries of pleasure._

_Her breathing ragged, Teyla collapsed against John heavily, wanting for nothing more than to bask in the afterglow of their lovemaking. John wrapped his arms securely around her body, holding her tight and close, as if he was afraid she would disappear._

_Nestling her head in against the crook of his neck, Teyla began to speak. "John, I l…" She bit her tongue, realizing what had almost passed from her lips._

"_Hmm?" he questioned with a murmur, sounding completely sated._

_She took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart. "I missed you," she said quietly._

_He smiled against her shoulder. "Missed you too."_

He hadn't noticed her almost admission, but it had been a near thing. Looking back on it now, Teyla realized exactly how close she had been to telling him. She'd stopped herself not because it was a lie—she loved him more than she had ever thought possible—but because she wasn't sure how he would react.

John had feelings for her, that much was abundantly obvious, but she was not sure if those feelings were real love, or merely lust and friendship shoved together into one during a time of war. Even if it was the latter, and her feelings were one-sided, Teyla did not wish to lose what they had. Some days it was the only thing that kept her going.

Eventually she would tell him, Teyla knew that it would come down to that some day, but for now she would let it be.

* * *

Teyla had dozed off, and when she woke up the first thing she noticed was the clock that sat on the bedside table. It took a few seconds, but the time registered in her mind. She sighed as she realized that they were due in the briefing room in less than ninety minutes, and if they were planning on eating breakfast at all, they would need to leave shortly.

As much as she wanted nothing more than to remain in bed all day long with John, they had work to do. She rolled over so that she was now facing him, and smiled at how peaceful he looked. 

"John," she whispered quietly as she ran one hand through his hair.

He murmured something unintelligible and rolled over so that he was lying half on top of her.

"John," she said again, but slightly louder this time. "It is time to wake up."

He groaned as he buried his face into her neck. "Five more minutes," he muttered, the vibrations that his voice caused, sending a shiver of pleasure down her spine.

"No," she said softly as she tried to slip out from underneath him. "Now." She was not successful as he simply maintained his hold and held her close. She was secretly pleased with his actions, but it did not change the fact that they had a briefing to attend. "John," she said, her voice almost taking on an almost pleading tone. "Dr. Weir has scheduled a mission for us today. The briefing starts soon."

Her words had the desired effect and John groaned as he rolled off her and sat up wearily. "I guess it's back to work."

* * *

Teyla and John managed to grab a quick bite to eat in the mess hall and make it to the briefing in time. As they entered the conference room John gave her a look that said 'I told you so'. He had taken so long in showering and getting ready that she'd been sure they would be late, but apparently she was wrong. Teyla merely raised one eyebrow as she followed him over to the table and took a seat beside him.

The other two members of their team were already there, and Ronon gave them a peculiar look. When John yawned, Ronon asked, "Long night Sheppard?" 

John's face lit up with a stupid grin. "You know how it is," he said. "It always feels good to be back in your own bed."

"So that's what you were doing last night?" Rodney asked, jumping into the conversation. "You were sleeping?"

John's grin was immediately replaced by a glare. Teyla sighed and hoped that she wouldn't have to intervene. "It was an accident," she whispered under her breath, just loud enough for John to hear.

He gave her a quick sideways glance, before going back to glaring at Rodney. "Yes, McKay," he said irritably. "That's what people tend to do at night."

Teyla was the only one to notice the suspicious look on Ronon's face as he observed both her and John. Perhaps they weren't as good at hiding their relationship as they both liked to believe.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid," he said exasperatedly. "But that doesn't explain why you weren't at the party."

John had opened his mouth at the stupid comment, but he froze for a second. "Party?" he asked skeptically.

Teyla inhaled sharply. She could not believe that she'd forgotten about the welcome back celebration that Dr. Weir had planned.

"Yeah," Ronon said. "The party in the mess hall for all the returning personnel."

"Right," John said, faking it. "Yeah, I was just tired."

"What about you?" Rodney asked, turning to look at Teyla.

"I turned in early," she lied. "I was tired as well."

"Yeah," John said. "That probably has something to do with her being _shot_."

Rodney cringed, but was saved from having to respond by Elizabeth's arrival.

"Sorry I'm late," she said as she took her seat at the table. "I was just talking to Major Lorne in the infirmary."

"Lorne's in the infirmary?" John questioned.

Teyla placed a hand on John's arm. "A lot has happened since you left."

"No kidding," he said. "You guys found two ZPMs, Lorne's in the infirmary and you were shot."

"Oh here we go," Rodney muttered from across the table, earning himself another glare from John.

"Gentlemen," Dr. Weir said warningly. "I believe we have more important things to focus on."

The look on John's face said that he begged to differ, but he kept quiet nonetheless.

Elizabeth looked at each of them individually before beginning the briefing. "Today you'll be going to L5X-356. It was one of the planets that was listed in the ancient database in the drone factory. According to the information Rodney extracted, this was the largest storehouse for drones in the Pegasus galaxy." Elizabeth paused, taking notice of the confused look on John's face.

"I'm sorry John," she said. "I wish that I had the time to explain this all to you, but I'll have to let your team fill you in later."

He nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Okay," he said as he leaned back in his chair. "I'll just sit here and pretend that I know what's going on."

Elizabeth gave him a half-nod of acknowledgement before continuing. "We have no way of knowing how many drones are left, if there are even any at all, but we can't let an opportunity like this pass us by. Now that we have two ZPMs, it would probably be good if we had some weapons to fire with them."

Ronon snorted in amusement.

"You're set to leave within the hour. I know that's soon, but I don't think I need to remind you of how important this is. Also, it's another forested planet and you won't be able to take a jumper."

Rodney groaned dejectedly, but everyone ignored him.

Elizabeth looked at each of them again. "Good luck," she said sincerely.

* * *

Teyla stepped through the gate behind John. She immediately tensed up as she set foot on the new planet. Bringing her gun up, she surveyed the area immediately surrounding the Gate. The trees here looked healthy and normal, but she was still on edge.

Turning to look at her, John raised an eyebrow questioningly. "You okay?" he asked. 

She nodded her head and lowered her weapon. "Yes," she said slowly. "I am just wary."

"Me too," Ronon said from her left. "Let's hope this planet doesn't have any wolves."

"Is that what we're calling them?" Rodney piped up.

"Okay," John said, interrupting. "Hold on." He paused for a second. "What?"

Teyla almost laughed at the utterly confused look on his face. "I believe we have a long walk ahead of us," she said. "Perhaps we can explain on the way."

"Right," John said, obviously desperate to know all of what had happened, but at the same time acknowledging the truth in her words. "Okay, I'll take point, Teyla you're second, Rodney third and Ronon bring up the rear."

Teyla was taken aback by his words. She was to be second? That was wrong, she always brought up the rear. "John?" she questioned.

He looked at her oddly, almost as if he was daring her to say something. She let it slide, not understanding his odd behavior. She would ask him later.

* * *

"How much farther?" Rodney whined. 

Teyla, walking only half a step behind John, saw him roll his eyes at the comment. "I thought you were the one with the sensor that detects the energy readings."

"Right," Rodney said sheepishly as he pulled out the device and looked at it. He groaned. "At least another mile."

"Well, let's keep walking then," John said as he stepped over a log that had fallen on the long abandoned trail they were following.

"Really?" Rodney asked sarcastically, nearly tripping over the same log. Once he regained his composure he added, "I never would have guessed."

Turning to look at Teyla, John asked, "Was he like this on the other mission too?"

Teyla laughed lightly. "Do you really have to ask?"

John grinned. "I'm surprised that you didn't end up shooting _him_."

"Are we really going to start that again?" Rodney asked. "I said I was sorry."

Teyla could only smile. At least John had progressed to being able to joke about it without looking too worried or pissed off. It had helped that they'd briefly explained to him what had happened on the mission. She was fairly certain that putting it in context had made him more accepting of what had happened.

"Hey," Ronon said, his voice carrying up from behind them. "Does this place remind anyone else of the Artakan's planet?"

"Yeah," John said, his face lighting up.

Teyla studied him closely. "By the Artakan planet do you mean the one where…"

"They were determined to worship you and make you their goddess," John said interrupting. "Yep, that's the one."

Teyla sighed as she remembered exactly what had happened on the mission.

"Oh yeah," Rodney said sarcastically. "That was a lot of fun. Until they starting shooting at us!"

Turning to look at the scientist, John said, "We were trying to 'steal' their goddess, can you blame them?"

Teyla fought back a blush as she smacked John on the arm. He just winked at her.

"Hey," Rodney said indignantly. "It's not funny. Do you know how many times people have tried to kill us?"

"Um, a lot?" John questioned as he kept walking. "It's not exactly something I keep track of."

"Well I do. And for your information, people have tried to kill us almost one hundred times now. And I'm not even counting wraith in that."

"Wow," John said. "I guess the people in this galaxy must really hate us."

Teyla gave him a look. "Not all the people in this galaxy hate us. In fact, I believe that we are now on good terms with at least half of the people who have tried to kill us in the past."

"That's not my point," Rodney said stubbornly.

"You had a point?" Ronon asked.

Teyla heard Rodney mutter something under his breath and she couldn't help but smile.

"Yes I had a point," he replied sharply. "My point is that it's statistically improbable for us to still all be alive. _Very_ improbable."

"I guess we're lucky then," John said as he ducked under a low hanging branch before holding out of the way for Teyla. She smiled at him thankfully.

Unfortunately he wasn't so kind to Rodney, and instead of continuing to hold the branch, he let it go. It connected with Dr. McKay's chest forcefully.

Teyla turned and gave John a chastising look while Rodney cried out, and doubled over in pain.

"Woops," John said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Woops?!" Rodney practically yelled the second he got over the pain. "What the hell was that for?!"

John shrugged his shoulders again. "Nothing," he said. "It just slipped."

Rodney began to mutter under his breath again as he stomped through the forest behind them. Teyla could not help but sigh. Perhaps John was not as accepting as she'd thought.

* * *

It wasn't too much longer before they found the drone storage facility. The building was huge and Rodney had informed them that there were large energy readings emanating from inside.

"This looks promising," John said as they made their way to the main door of the facility. 

"Promising?" Rodney squeaked as he shoved past them and began to fiddle with the sensor by the door. "This could be a turning point in our fight against the wraith."

"Okay," John said slowly. "It looks very promising."

Ignoring John's comment, Rodney continued to work until he finally did something that caused the doors to open. They went inside, and followed the only hallway that they found. It lead them past a handful of empty rooms and then to a large staircase.

By the time they made it to the top, Rodney was out of breath, but it didn't stop him from practically bouncing with excitement when he realized that they'd found what they had been looking for.

As Teyla followed John up onto the platform that Dr. McKay was currently occupying, she looked down over the balcony to see a large storage room filled with tall shelves—shelves that were completely filled with drones.

"Oh my god," Rodney said, looking like he was unable to take it in.

Teyla did not blame him—she could hardly believe it herself. A quick look at both John and Ronon told her that they were both having similar reactions.

Finally regaining some composure Rodney said, "We might actually make it through this war."

* * *

The happiness and excitement from finding the drones was palpable to Teyla as they left the holding facility and headed back for the gate. It would only take the Nikephoros two days to make it to the planet. When the ship arrived it would beam up all the drones and then they would finally be much better armed in their fight against the wraith. The thought was enough to make Teyla smile widely as they headed through the forest and back toward the Gate.

Day started to fade to night when they were less than a few minutes away from the gate. The excited chatter that had permeated the group after they left the building died down as the long day began to take its toll on them.

Teyla fell in step beside John and he smiled at her softly. They walked together in silence for a few moments until Teyla had to ask. "Did you see Dr. Beckett last night?" she questioned John, keeping her voice low.

He answered without turning to look at her. "Yeah," he replied quietly. "Everyone has to have a medical check up after they return from an intergalactic trip."

Teyla nodded even though John would not see the action. "Did you see Dr. Beckett specifically?" she inquired further. It was a long walk both to the facility and back—she'd had more than enough time to think about why John had Ronon bringing up the rear instead of her.

This time he did turn and look at her. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Why?"

Perhaps he truly hadn't made the connection. "No reason," she said, deciding that it would be better if she brought it up in private.

John gave her an odd look before turning to watch the trail again.

He had gone to see Dr. Beckett, one of the few people who knew the exact details of what had happened on the last mission. When she was in the infirmary Teyla had explained to him that she'd been bringing up the rear when the wolves found them, and that Rodney had turned around and fired, shooting her accidentally because she was in the way. If John had asked Dr. Beckett about her injury, which she was almost certain he would have, then he would now know about that. It was the only reason that Teyla could think of for John switching her to second.

They walked in silence until they could see the Stargate through the trees. Teyla smiled wearily, glad that they were almost home. It had been a long day.

"Oh thank god," Rodney said, sounding truly relieved. "We're almost there."

John paused and turned to look at him. "McKay…" He was cut off by a warning shout from Ronon.

Teyla whipped around, but before she could complete the movement John threw her to the ground and sounds of gunfire filled the air.

* * *

"Come on," John yelled above the constant noise of weapons shooting as he pulled Teyla after him. He was practically dragging her to the Gate.

She tried to move faster, but she couldn't. The burning pain all over her body was too much. "Leave me," she said as loudly as she could, trying to free herself from his grip. She was slowing him down and if he left her then at least he could get away.

John stumbled as one of the bullets found its mark. "No," he yelled forcefully, continuing to carry her along. "I'm not leaving you."

She opened her mouth to reply, but instead let out a cry of pain as another bullet lodged itself in her leg. Her vision swam in front of her, and she could only make out a blurry image of the Gate.

Teyla was vaguely aware of John pulling her through the last few feet of trees before they reached the clearing. The details were fuzzy as the pain was completely overwhelming. Somewhere, distantly, she heard the sounds of the Gate being dialed and she wondered how. It took her a few moments to realize that they'd reached the DHD.

The next thing she knew her feet had left the ground. Then she felt the cold of the event horizon swallow her before everything went black.

* * *

When Teyla woke up she found herself in the infirmary. Dr. Beckett had been going over her chart and noticed immediately. A look of relief crossed his face.

She looked around her frantically. There were no people in the beds beside her; there were no other patients in the infirmary at all. She began to panic, her heart clenching in fear. 

It appeared that Carson was about to say something, but she cut him off. "John?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.

Carson shook his head and Teyla felt tears began to well up in her eyes. She stopped breathing as panic overtook her.

Dr. Beckett gave her a sympathetic look as he placed one hand on her shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry love…"

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Previously: 

_It appeared that Carson was about to say something, but she cut him off. "John?" she asked, her voice filled with worry._

_Carson shook his head and Teyla felt tears began to well up in her eyes. She stopped breathing as panic overtook her._

_Dr. Beckett gave her a sympathetic look as he placed one hand on her shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry love…"_

**Chapter 7**

"He isn't here."

Teyla's head began to swim. "John is alive?" She choked out, hoping against all odds that he was.

"Oh god love, I'm sorry," Carson said, realizing that she'd misinterpreted his words. "Yes, I released him two days ago."

When Teyla exhaled the breath she had been holding, a sob escaped as well. She could feel herself sink back against the infirmary bed as relief flowed through her. She had to close her eyes and take a few deep and shaky breaths to calm herself.

It took longer than she would have liked, but eventually she regained some composure. She opened her eyes to look at Carson again. "Ronon and Dr. McKay?"

Carson's face fell and Teyla saw tears well up in his eyes. Suddenly she remembered.

"_Get down!" Ronon shouted loudly._

_The next thing Teyla knew she was being thrown to the ground bodily by John. He lay mostly on top of her as gunfire rang out over their heads and in the surrounding trees._

_Teyla felt adrenaline automatically begin to fuel her body and her heart was beating so fast that she could feel it pounding against her ribs. "We must get to the Gate."_

_John nodded against her shoulder and moved to pull a grenade from one of the pockets on his vest. He looked behind them, preparing to throw it. Teyla looked too. What she saw made her blood run cold. John's entire body tensed along with her own._

_Ronon was slouched against a tree, his head lolling at an awkward angle and gun balanced precariously in his slack hand. Blood covered his entire front, having completely soaked his shirt. It took only one look at his dull eyes to know that he was dead._

_Everything seemed to slow as realization hit. Tears rolled unhindered down her cheeks. Then somewhere in the fog of shock she thought to look for…_

"_McKay!" John called out, looking frantically around the area behind them. They both spotted his body almost immediately._

_Teyla found herself unconsciously clutching at John as she took in the sight of Rodney's body, horribly mutilated by bullet wounds. She had to fight the burning and nearly overpowering urge to be sick._

_She forced her eyes away from the horrid scene and tried to concentrate—she needed to concentrate._

_It took her too long to realize that the gunfire had stopped. She scanned the trees frantically, looking for whoever had done this. There were men coming towards them, weaving their way through trees. They were close.  
__  
"Kolya," John spat out as he recognized the leader of the group. Without a moment's hesitation he removed the pin from the grenade and threw it as hard as he could in an arc towards the Genii._

_The next thing Teyla knew John was lying fully on top of her again, shielding her as the grenade went off. The sound of the explosion rang in her ears and she could feel the heat from the blast._

_John pulled her up and began sprinting toward the Gate, dragging her along behind him. Unrestrained rage and full out determination fueled his movements. It didn't matter—they barely made it more than ten steps before they were under gunfire from both sides._

Teyla squeezed her eyes tightly shut as the nauseating memories washed over her.

The Genii had pursued them relentlessly the entire way to the Gate. The exact details were fuzzy, but she remembered enough. It had taken them a long time to get to the clearing given how close they'd been, but they had been forced to stop and take cover more than once.

In that time her and John had both been hit several times. The memory of the excruciating pain descended upon her and she knew she must have been near death.

"Teyla…" Carson's voice was soft but hesitant as he interrupted her thoughts.

Her eyes flew open upon hearing her name. "I remember," she whispered, the words barely escaping her lips. It was then she noticed that her face was damp, and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." Carson wiped away a tear of his own. "I wasn't there, but I can only imagine..."

Teyla shook her head, silently begging him to stop. The images of both Ronon and Rodney's bodies were engrained in her mind with grotesque accuracy—she needn't be reminded more.

"Where is John?" Teyla asked, her voice tinted with panic. "He should be here." She knew John and if she was injured and in the infirmary, the only place he would be was right beside her.

Dr. Beckett sighed. "Aye, he was until this morning."

Teyla gulped, fearful of what may have caused him to leave. "What happened?" Her fingers rose unconsciously to twine themselves in the chain that held his dog tag.

Carson sat down in the empty chair beside the bed before beginning his explanation. "We almost lost you, love," he said quietly. "When John brought you through the Gate you were unconscious and you'd lost too much blood."

For the first time since waking up, Teyla noticed that she had an IV in her arm. Her heart beat faster as Carson's words sank in and she realized that she had almost died. Her chest tightened at the thought of no longer being alive.

"John was injured as well, but for the most part the bullets hit his vest. He was badly bruised and extremely sore, but it wasn't critical."

She let out a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding.

"After I released him he wouldn't leave your side, not even to sleep or eat. I've never seen him so worried in the entire time I've known him."

"Then why is he not here now?" Teyla tried to keep her voice calm, and for the most part she succeeded.

Dr. Beckett waited a moment before replying. "I don't know how to say this…"

"Just tell me." Her voice was sharp and demanding—she _needed_ to know. She was beginning to panic again—she could think of no logical reason for John's absence.

"This morning I told him you would be fine, that you would most likely wake up some time today or tomorrow." Carson paused. "Then he left."

"What?" She could not believe what she was hearing.

"The last I heard he'd handed in his resignation and he's getting ready to head back to Earth. He'll be leaving in a few hours."

Teyla's head began to spin. "No," she said, completely blindsided by the information.

She wanted to believe that it wasn't true, that somehow Carson had misinterpreted something, but _really_ thinking about it she knew that wasn't the case. Teyla's heart filled with despair as she realized that John was undoubtedly blaming himself for the deaths of both Ronon and Dr. McKay.

He had always shouldered too much responsibility, but even more so since the war against the wraith had turned so grave. Each loss that the expedition experienced affected him personally, regardless of whether or not he had even known the person. He had never said anything, but she could see it in his eyes—he faulted himself for anything that ever went wrong. This time she knew that the guilt mixed together with the immense pain would be too much to handle alone—every man had his limits, even John Sheppard.

Teyla's heart clenched as reality fully sunk in—she was losing him. John was leaving Atlantis. He was trying to protect himself from the hurt, from the pain. It would not work; she knew as much and he did too, even if he could not recognize it at the moment.

Purpose giving her strength, Teyla pushed herself upright in the bed before ripping the IV out of her arm. Carson stared at her, thoroughly shocked, and she was up and out of the bed before he managed to get a word out.

"Teyla… where do you think you're going?"

"To see John," she said firmly as she pushed past him in order to grab her clothes from the end of the bed.

"Love, you need to…"

"No." Teyla's voice was firm as she stepped over to the next cubicle and drew the curtain closed between her and Carson. Within seconds she was fully dressed, and the stinging in her arm where the IV had been was hardly noticeable.

She pulled open the curtain and reached for her boots on the floor. Carson moved around to her side of the bed as she began to quickly lace them up.

"You've been unconscious for nearly four _days._" Dr. Beckett hovered beside her. He gave her an odd look, one that was a mixture of disappointment and surprise. "You shouldn't even be able to get out of bed!"

Teyla turned to look at him squarely. "I believe that is due to the knowledge that I am about to lose the man I love." She barely registered the look on his face before she moved to shove past him. "Excuse me." She was out the door before he could even react.

* * *

Everything that happened between the infirmary and John's quarters was a blur. She was so focused on getting there that she didn't notice the odd looks she was getting from everyone she passed. All she knew was that she needed to see John, needed to make him understand that this was not his fault, that leaving would not help. She needed to tell him that she loved him and that she needed him to stay. Perhaps it was selfish, but it was also the truth.

By the time Teyla did reach John's quarters, she was out of breath and feeling light headed, but she didn't stop. Without hesitation she swiped her hand over the sensor outside the door and entered the room.

She halted once she was inside. The bareness of the room assaulted her. It was empty save for the duffel bags by the bed. All the walls were bare, there were no books lying on tables, not even a sheet on the bed. Her stomach began to churn. John was leaving unless she did something.

A muffled sound from the far side of the room caused her to turn her head quickly, just in time to see John emerge from the bathroom with his towel and toothbrush in hand.

As soon as he saw her, he stopped. Teyla could not help but think that it looked like he had walked into a force field of some kind—one second he was heading to the bed to put the last of his items in is bag, and the next he was standing stock still.

Teyla's heart broke as she saw a myriad of emotions play over John's face: shock, relief, hurt, anger, pain and guilt. The last marred his face, making him barely recognizable. She felt the tears brimming in her eyes.

"Teyla." John's voice was so quiet and choked with emotion that she could barely hear him. "You're okay." Relief washed over his features for a moment before the other emotions overpowered it. "I… I thought you would still be in the infirmary."

Teyla felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, causing her to place one hand against the wall for support. "I should be," she stated once the feeling passed.

John undoubtedly noticed, and in less than a second he had dropped the items in his hands and crossed from the far side of the room to hover in front of her. Teyla could not help but notice that despite their closeness John was keeping his distance—he was not touching her at all. It was as if he was afraid.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

Teyla looked him straight in the eye. "No, I am not." She felt the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she held them back. Breaking down right now would not help either of them. "You are leaving." A slight accusatory tone had crept into her voice, but she couldn't help it.

John took a step back, like her words had had a physical effect on him. "I have to."

Teyla shook her head and took one step toward John. "You do not."

He too shook his head. "Yes," he stated firmly. "I have to." He took a deep and shaky breath as he backed up another step. "I can't do this anymore, Teyla."

The pain in her chest doubled and she reached out to touch his arm in comfort, but he backed away before she could. "John…" A tear had slipped down her cheek and she knew she could no longer hold them in. She had just lost two of her best friends and John was about to leave, cutting her out of his life for good.

"Please do not go."

When he turned his back to her more tears fell free. "John." His name came out somewhere halfway to a sob. "Please. I need you." She took a deep breath, regaining what composure she could. "I love you."

The air between them seemed to still with the passing of the words from her lips. Neither of them moved or said anything for what seemed like an eternity.

Steeling herself, Teyla began to talk. "I need you to know that John, even if you do not feel the same way."

He instantly unfroze and turned around to look at her. She would have to be blind to have missed the glistening in his eyes caused by unshed tears. "I _can't_ love you."

For a second Teyla forgot to breathe. She had known that her feelings might be unreciprocated, but she had not expected it to hurt this much. The next thing she knew John was talking again, and somewhere in the haze of shock she focused her attention on his words.

"Don't you get it?" His voice had risen to the point of yelling. "I can't love you. It hurts too damn much."

Teyla's mind nearly went into overload as relief, fear and realization all hit her at once.

"It could have been you!" He stared at her intently while he continued. "You're supposed to bring up the rear, you always do. But I…_I_ made you go second because of what Carson told me. He said that you were bringing up the rear when Rodney shot you."

"John…"

"So I was being overprotective and put Ronon there instead." He paused, only just long enough to inhale shakily. "I killed Ronon by putting him there."

Teyla shook her head forcefully. "No. You did not kill Ronon. The Genii are responsible for his death."

She wasn't even sure that John hear the words, as he continued talking without any recognition of them. "Ronon died, but all I can think about was what if it had been you."

Teyla's heart shattered even more as tears began to trail down John's cheeks.

"I don't know what I would have done…" The naked emotions on his face were so strong that Teyla could barely breathe.

"So you are running away?" she asked, forcing herself to talk through the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm her.

"Teyla, I…"

She shook her head, interrupting him. "Do you think it will hurt less if you are on Earth and something happens to me, or to any of us? Do you truly believe that by placing a physical distance between us, it will lessen your feelings?"

Teyla swallowed, trying to rid herself of the tightness in her throat before continuing. "We both know that is not true."

John broke their gaze and looked down at the ground. His shoulders slouched and his entire body emanated defeat. "It just hurts so much." He entire body shook as he took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at her again. "And if it was you… I don't know how I could..."

He let the sentence hang unfinished between them, but he did not need to end it—she knew. If something were to happen to John, she did not know if she would be able to keep going, to continue to live.

She walked toward John and wrapped her arms around him securely. It was as if her touch caused something to break inside of him, because the next thing she knew John was holding her tightly against him and sobbing against her shoulder.

As grief and emotion poured from John, Teyla found herself letting go as well. Soon she was clutching John tightly and had her face buried against his chest while the tears streamed harder yet down her face. The shock was wearing off, allowing for everything to _really_ sink in.

They remained like that, wrapped in each other's embrace, until there were no tears left to shed. They were completely spent, both physically and emotionally. Leaning against one another heavily, Teyla could not tell who was supporting who, or if instead they were supporting each other.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 (Epilogue)**

Teyla stood at the back of the crowd formed by the Atlantis expedition. John was beside her and together they watched and listened as Dr. Weir gave a speech. Teyla only half heard the words that the other woman was saying, and when everyone began to cheer and applaud, Teyla could not bring herself to join in. Never had she expected that victory would feel so bittersweet.

With the drones they had found on _that_ planet, they had accomplished the defeat of the Wraith. Dr. Zelenka had integrated them into the systems of both the Daedalus and the Nikephoros. When the Wraith found their way to Atlantis en masse, they'd encountered an unexpectedly strong resistance.

The expedition had been badly outnumbered, but with two ZPMs and more drones than they knew what to do with, it was really only a matter of time until the Wraith were destroyed. Teyla cringed as she thought of how many people had been lost in that battle alone. She did not know the numbers exactly, nor did she want to. But she did know that the crews of both Earth ships were severely diminished in strength, even if the ships themselves had made it through intact.

A single tear traced its way down her cheek as she thought of Ronon—he had never gotten to know the feeling of a Wraith free galaxy, a Wraith free life. It had been his life's goal, no matter how unrealistic it was for one man to achieve, to destroy every single last Wraith in the Pegasus galaxy. He had died only weeks before that goal had been achieved.

Teyla turned her head, looking to John for support, but all she saw was the gap in the crowd where he had previously been standing. A heavy sigh escaped her as she caught sight of him exiting the far side of the room. She wanted to go after him, but she knew that he needed some time alone.

Both Rodney's and Ronon's deaths had affected John greatly. Teyla could not blame him for being different, as she had changed as well. To say that it was hard to adjust to the deaths of their two best friends would be a severe understatement.

Teyla had witnessed much death her in her life, but this had struck her harder than any other time. Never had she been so close to a group of people. Ronon, Rodney and John constituted the family she had created for herself on Atlantis. Now half of that family was gone.

She blinked a few times, holding back tears that threatened to spill as the feeling of loss descended upon her. Sometimes the grief was bearable, but at other times it would hit unexpectedly and with overwhelming force.

Images of their bodies floated into view of her mind's eye, but she shoved them away. Her dreams were already haunted with them and she could not bear to see them in her waking hours as well.

Teyla forced her attention back to Dr. Weir, deciding that she would search for John after this was over. She listened to Elizabeth's speech, but didn't _hear_ it. Instead she was swallowed up by memories of the past two weeks.

_"Teyla…" Elizabeth said softly as she pulled back the curtain that was around the infirmary bed. "May I?"_

_Teyla fixed her eyes on the other woman and nodded. She would have tried to smile, but anything resembling happiness was beyond her abilities. "Of course."_

_Elizabeth looked relieved, and walked over to sit in the unoccupied chair beside the bed. "I'd heard you'd woken up. And I heard that you've already been out of the infirmary." She jumped straight to the point and Teyla couldn't help but admire it. It seemed wrong to put emphasis on insignificant pleasantries when there were important things to be discussed._

_Dr. Weir stared at her intently for a few moments. "Thank you Teyla."_

_Teyla felt here eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I'm sorry?"_

_Elizabeth reached over and placed one hand lightly on Teyla's leg. "I know that you convinced John to stay. When he told me he was resigning I did everything I could to try and change his mind, but he just wouldn't hear it. I know that Carson tried as well, but no matter what, John was adamant in his belief that leaving was for the best."_

_Teyla felt the stinging sensation behind her eyes, but with no tears left to cry they remained dry. She was once again reminded of how close she had come to losing John. If she had woken up only a few hours later… it would have been too late._

"_Teyla…"_

_She shook her head slightly to help bring her thoughts back to the present. "I am sorry."_

"_That's all right," Elizabeth comforted. "Should I get Dr. Beckett?"_

"_No," she said immediately. "I am fine." She took a deep breath. "John is remaining in Atlantis then?"_

_Elizabeth looked at her peculiarly. "Didn't he tell you?"_

"_Not explicitly," she explained. "But yes, I had suspected as much."_

_John had brought her back to the infirmary, half-angry with her for leaving in the first place. As soon as Dr. Beckett saw her, he'd rushed over and started to fuss over her, making sure that she was okay and chastising her for leaving without permission. Seeing that she was in obvious capable hands, John had kissed her forehead lightly and told her that he had some things to take care of. She had suspected he'd been going to see Dr. Weir, and apparently she'd been correct._

_A thought springing to mind, Teyla began to talk. "May I ask you something, Dr. Weir?"_

_She nodded. "Of course."_

"_The Genii that killed…" She gulped, but forced herself to continue. "Those who are responsible for the deaths of Ronon and Dr. McKay…"_

"_Are dead." Elizabeth's face went from caring to hard in a heartbeat. "We sent two teams back to the planet immediately after you and John made it through the Gate. Luckily the Genii were interested in the drones, and they hadn't left yet."_

_Realizing that her fists were clenching the blankets tightly, Teyla forced her muscles to relax._

"_So the Genii were there for the drones?" Teyla questioned, trying to keep the majority of the anger from her voice. Losing control of her emotions would not bring her friends back._

_Elizabeth sighed. "We don't know for sure. But when our teams engaged them, they were poking around the Ancient storehouse, so that remains our best guess."_

_Just then the curtain opened to reveal John. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I can…"_

"_No John," Elizabeth interrupted as she stood up. "I was just finished. I'll leave the two of you." With that she slipped out, closing the curtain behind her._

_John remained at the foot of the bed for a few seconds. Teyla used the short amount of time to take in his appearance. Although he looked better than he had that afternoon in his quarters, pain and guilt were still etched in the lines of his face. She wished that there was something she could do to lessen his pain, but at the moment she did not know how, not when she was already being overrun by her own emotions._

_Perhaps John read something on her face, or perhaps not, but the next thing she knew he was sliding onto the bed next to her. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her head down to rest on his chest._

_She settled in against him and wrapped her arms around him securely. It was not that she thought he was likely to disappear; it was just that she needed this… she needed him._

The joint funeral had been held two days later. Some had thought it a long time to wait, but the decision had been made for two reasons, or two people rather. By waiting it ensured that Teyla was out of the infirmary, and that Jeannie would be able to attend.

It some ways the funeral had been the hardest part, it meant concretely acknowledging that they were gone. Even now Teyla was not sure how she managed to get through the ceremony without breaking down.

The most difficult part had been the eulogies. John had been asked to give Rodney's, and she had given Ronon's. It had been impossible to put into words exactly how important and outstanding the two men had been, but they'd done their best. Teyla just didn't know if their best had done their friends justice.

She was forced to shut her eyes and take a few calming breaths in order to control her emotions. When she opened them she found the crowd of people happily milling about. Focusing on the front of the room she saw that Elizabeth had finished speaking, and people were now beginning with the celebration.

The thought made her feel nauseous. Logically she knew that the defeat of the Wraith was indeed something to embrace and cherish, but she could not do it… not when they had lost so much to get to this point.

Teyla wove through the crowd and headed for the door. Before long she was in the nearest transporter. Acting on a hunch she touched the screen at a point near the far west pier of the city.

* * *

She didn't rush to the balcony; instead she took her time. It had not been that long since John left the ceremony, and she was not sure if he still wished to be alone. 

For a second Teyla thought that she hadn't correctly guessed John's location, but looking harder into the moonless night she could make out the dim outline of his figure on the balcony. Swiping her hand over the sensor of the door, she walked outside.

John did not turn to look, but from the slight shifting of his stance she knew he was aware of her presence. She silently made her way to stand beside him. For a while they simply remained like that, shoulder to shoulder, looking out over the city.

Just as Teyla was beginning to lose herself in the hypnotic sound of waves crashing against the pier, John broke the silence.

"I wish they were here."

Teyla placed a hand over one of his and twined their fingers together. "So do I."

He squeezed her hand lightly before continuing. "If anyone deserved to live to see this accomplishment…" He swallowed heavily. "It was them."

Teyla nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. "I know. And now that we have achieved this…" She took a deep breath. "I know that it is a momentous day, but…"

"Celebrating feels wrong."

"Yes," she whispered in response.

John sighed. "I guess I just thought that whenever we did defeat the Wraith, we'd all be here to celebrate together."

Teyla squeezed his hand lightly, offering what support she could.

John's voice was quiet, but she could still hear his words. "I thought that no matter what, no matter how many situations we got into, all of us would make it through." He paused for a moment.

"You think you have forever, but time is a gift."

_The End_

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story despite infrequent updates. I appreciate that you didn't give up on me. :) Also, thanks for the feedback. It's always very motivating. I'm not sure when I'll write another Atlantis fic, but until then, thank you.


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